Category Archives: World Views

My opinions on the world as I see it!

2013 Underway!

Well we’re 15 days into the New Year and I feel like I’m knocking on death’s door. Unfortunately, I got struck down by this years flu and am just now starting to see some improvement after yesterdays venture to the ER. I am going to share with you a story about my ER experience, since it has really been my only experience of the New Year, besides being stuck in the house going through a box of tissue and a bottle of NyQuil a day.

Here was my experience:

We had seen this hospital several times in passing, as we live nearby. After being sick for 11 days, and with fever and the inability to breath, I decided it was time for the ER. I drove myself and Platinum, who was also ill, to the hospital. As we were on the freeway near the hospital we saw a billboard that said FAST ER waiting time 19 mins. We thought “Awesome” and figured we would be seen quickly. Needless to say, that billboard was GROSSLY inaccurate. We checked in at approx 1:30pm and was not called to triage until about 2:40pm. Out entire ER experience lasted about 6 hours and I did have a 1 hour breathing treatment.

While waiting in the ER I had the most heartbreaking and disturbing experience. A little old lady, 96 to be exact, was asked to go into the public women’s restroom alone to pee in a cup. I followed the lady in, after I was given some meds myself for fever. God only knows how she filled her cup, but she was crying, trying to get up from the toilet and pull up her pants. I offered her my help right away. I had her hold onto my shoulders and hoisted her up, pulled up her depends and pants, put the lid on her urine, put it in the bag and literally put my hands under her arms and carried her out to her wheelchair where her son was waiting. She had told me that she had fallen and she was afraid that she had injured her back… I cannot believe the hospital staff asked her to go in there alone. Afterwards when I brought it to the attention of the nurses they apologized to ME and told me I shouldn’t have helped her because I was already sick and could’ve hurt myself. They should’ve been apologizing to her and not made her gone alone! I was furious and disgusted how things were handled. I wasn’t trying to be a hero, I just did what I thought was right and was saddened at the fact that no one else even acknowledged the inhumanity of it all.

I understand that hospitals get busy. I also understand that this was a new area, that they were under staffed and having technical issues with the computer system. I also understand there is absolutely NO excuse that makes this situation okay. The thing is people are so wrapped up in their own shit that they don’t even realize that could’ve easily been them, their mother, grandmother or loved one. We have got to do better people.

Moving forward this year, I am going to remember this experience and make sure I always do my part. I figure the best way to strike a change is to lead by example.


God & The Sinner

I have never before spoken on the subject of religion, but as today is Christmas Eve, I found it fitting… I also got a message that struck up a rather interesting conversation. Most people seem to confuse me as an Atheist because I do not believe in organize religion… that is in fact inaccurate, I am not an Atheist. Atheist, by definition, is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings… I do not. I very much believe that there is a “God” or a supreme being.

My biggest issue with religion is that it is a man-made structure of belief. There are literally thousands of religions around the world and who to say which religion is “right”? As I see it, there are about 4 people going to Heaven, lol. Then there is the issue of the Bible, also written by man, which has been written and rewritten all based off of interpretations. Once as a kid, I read the Bible, cover to cover, and seemed to understand it very differently than the way most religions teach it. I also find that some of the biggest hypocrites on Earth can be found in churches all around the World.

If so many religions preach peace, why can they not live it and accomplish it? If religion preaches love and acceptance, why are people so full of hate and judgement? If religion teaches the importance of family and togetherness then why are there foster homes, retirement homes, homes for difficult teens, etc. No one takes care of their families anymore, we just shove them off for someone else to take of them because it makes our own lives easier… SMH.

The conversation that lit this fire for me is below…

Mike Leroy Jnr
Repent from fornication and immorality porn woman remember hell is real and your body is d temple of the lord – repent now before it too late christ is knocking

Desiree Devine
LMAO… thank you for the chuckle… I needed a good laugh today! Happy Holidays!

Mike Leroy Jnr
Its not funny you may ridicule the word today but don’t regret tommorrow a word is enough for the wise

Desiree Devine
I’m not the one ridiculing sweets, that would be you. I love and accept everyone for who they are. In fact, I have read the Bible, cover to cover, have you? The same “Lord” that you are referring to states that He does not call upon the righteous as it is the sinners who need repentance… he died for the sinners… ergo Jesus loves and will embrace me even as a sinner. The Bible also states very clearly, and I quote: MATTHEW 7:1-5:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

I am no fool. I understand better than you realize. So… please… do not worry about me and my ways as a sinner, but worry about your damnation as a hypocrite. All sins are equal in the eyes of God.


Now the gentleman has yet to respond to my last message, but I don’t assume he will. The thing about people like me who dispute religion is that we have to study more about religion than the people who claim to be religious. Funny how I have to be extensively educated about religion to dispute it, but you have to know zero about it to shove it down my throat and tell me that I shall be eternally damned. Again, SMH!

On that note, I wish coexisteveryone around the World the HAPPIEST of Holidays. May your days be filled with love and laughter!

Jokes vs Insults!

Before I begin this entry I want to start by saying that I am the least politically correct person I know. I find humor in the just plain wrong… but if it’s done in the spirit of laughter I’m all about it. I LoVe to laugh and do it more than most about things that most “normal” people find offensive… sooo if I’m not laughing… you’ve gone too far. There is a bold line between joking about something and being just down right insulting.

When you look around after telling a “joke” are you the only one laughing? If so, chances are you’ve crossed the line. I have several friends that are career comedians… a few of my closest ones being Keith FromUpDaBlock, Felipe Esparza and Diaz Mackie… and though they poke fun at some pretty delicate topics they do it in the spirit of fun. To me being funny is almost an art, not everyone was born with a funny bone some were just born with a stick up their ass. Some people open their mouth and you can’t help but laugh, but others couldn’t deliver a punch line if they were being assisted by a ventriloquist. Then there are those who THINK they’re funny, but they are really just douchebags who think insulting people is funny.

There is nothing less funny on this planet than watching someones feelings get hurt. The gloom that comes over their face is heart breaking and there is NOTHING comical about that. I don’t know about you, but I have been to comedy shows where comedians have crossed the line from funny to insulting and this whole awkward silence falls over the room but he just didn’t get it and kept digging until people actually got up and left. People actually looked traumatized but yet the comedian was cracking up like he had just inhaled a balloon full of nitrous oxide. I can only speak for myself but I don’t find it fun if everyone isn’t laughing with me.

I mean, I find things like ☚ this picture HILARIOUS even though some would find it offensive, but I don’t believe that the person who came up with it thought “I hate fat people so I am going to make this shirt so fatty’s all over the world will feel my contempt!” LOL… seriously! Now if the shirt said fat people shouldn’t be allowed in the forest because they might ignite a forest fire from their chafing thighs… then maybe… but I would probably still find even that a bit humorous… I know, I’m sick!

My whole point is that to joke about being broke and making light of the struggle is much different than putting people down for not being as well off as you and laughing “at” them. NO ONE wants to be laughed at… we should ALL want to be laughed with. I personally think that laughter is good for the soul but if done in malice you are paving your own express lane straight to hell. We have to make light of things in life or we would all be depressed and suicidal but there are boundaries, and as human beings we should be aware and practice the art of respect.

I have a much obscure line than most when it comes to what I deem as humorous… at what point do you think the line has been crossed?

My Picture…

As I sit here in my new Arizona apartment, alone and quiet, watching movies of love lost and then found, I am overwhelmed by emotion. It has been a long time since I last wrote, but not because I was too busy, but more because I could not find my words. The only time I have ever been able to write is when I feel what I have to say matters… maybe not to the general population but to me or someone who may need to hear my words at that exact moment in time. This blog may be a bit lengthy but I am going to take you on a very personal journey, one that I have lived over the last several months.

As most everyone knows I have been traveling, as some would say a nomad, for  quite some time. In my heart I had no real purpose or direction. It was quite an adventure, one that I wish everyone got to experience at least once in their lifetime. I have traveled all over the country and have met some amazing, and some not so amazing, people along the way. I have seen how people eat, live, talk, believe and love all over the country. With this being the United States it’s so funny to observe how separate we really are. The discrimination I have witness is appalling in this day and age as is the quality of human relationships. In fact just the other day I had a long conversation with someone about how the natural order of the universe has been thrown off-balance by the human race, how we have created thing that are unnatural and that is why the world is in such turmoil. Even things like language has divided our world and broken down our lines of communication… for example, animals from anywhere in the world can communicate just fine. Do you think when a dog from Lebanon comes to the States and barks at another dog he thinks “Dude… I don’t speak that woof!” NO, one woof is as good as the next, they communicate without missing a beat. However, on the other end of that I have seen boundless generosity, people who have given their last dollar to someone because they knew they needed it more, I have seen timeless love, when looks have faded, sex has subsided and everything annoying about a person has come to light… 30 years later they couldn’t imagine living one day without each other.

I have been blessed to know people from all walks of life… different shapes, sizes, colors, religion, sexual orientations, cultures and so on. Knowing all of these people and being open to learn from them has given me a gift that I wish I could share with the world… it has given me perspective. See for me I get to look at the world through a looking-glass… I get to stand back and see the WHOLE picture, not just the part of the picture that fits into a small frame. When I look at life I see just how insignificant things are on the grand scale. I see that compared to the universe, earth is like a grain of sand and if you were to think of earth’s existence in a 24 hour time span it has only been created in the last 7 seconds. When you look at things on a larger scale you can really put them in perspective. I know that at some points in time my perspective has been skewed and I have closed myself into that tiny box that I am always trying to burn. I can’t see the big picture because I am to busy trying to get the frame to fit… the problem is the picture doesn’t need to fit the frame, the frame needs to fit the picture.

A lot has happened to me in the last several months. I hate to say that it hasn’t all been positive, but I can say that I have lived and learned. I can also say that I have laughed til I’ve cried and opened my heart to receive. For me, like many, when I get hurt or burned I try to close up like a clam and not let anyone else in hopes that staying guarded will keep my heart safe, but truthfully the only thing it really does is keep your heart lonely. I guess for me the saying “It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.” is true. I also think that we have to go through the bad times to appreciate the good ones. I just wish that it didn’t always take so long for me to remember these lessons when things happen. I would love it if I had a little directory to refer to when situation occurred to show me a similar situation, the outcome and lessons learned.

It has taken me to get to this moment to really reflect on the past months to see how trivial everything has really been. I have focused my time in attention on people and things of little importance instead of focusing on the issues that affect the big picture. I had known for quite some time that I had not been feeling well and instead of listening to my body I continued to press on in hopes that I would one day wake up and feel better… of course it just continued to get worse until I found myself with some pretty serious health issues and having to grow roots and seek treatment. One thing I forget a lot of the time is that we are all pictures within a bigger picture and unless we take care of ourselves we won’t be there to complete our part. Too often people leave this world too early and never get the chance to make their mark. I don’t want to be one of those people. Though I am not afraid of death, I want my life to have meant something even if it means that helped 1 person feel good about who they were or that despite my many flaws I was a good person… to me that would be enough.

So… for the next year I will be living around Phoenix Arizona, so if anyone is near here please reach out and say hello. I have also teamed up with a great girl, Christylee, to do plus size club promotions and events starting with the existing Club Fullfilled! I’ve VERY excited about this new partnership, especially since I will be doing something I LoVe and have wanted to do for several years. There will be more info to follow on the club so stay tuned. At the end of the day you have to take hold of your own paintbrush and design the mark you want to make on the world. Personally, I want my mark to be beautiful and full of light and soul, not dark and filled with anger and regret. I am making a vow to lighten my spirit by letting go of the negative and dedicating my picture to LoVe, LiFe and Laughter!

I was on Fox NEWS…

Yesterday I received a call from a friend letting me know they saw me on Fox News. To my surprise when I went to the Fox News website… there I was, clear as day!

Here is the link…

So after watching the broadcast I had mixed emotions, but overall I thought it was great. I don’t know if anyone noticed but they gave the convention NO mention and I thought that was awesome.

I’m very curious to hear what everyone has to say so feel free to comment after you watch the broadcast!

P.S. Happy belated St. Patty’s Day!


Living humble!

Lately I have experienced a substantial influx of individuals commenting on my personality, demeanor and even my swag. Now, I’ve never been one to easily accept compliments, but as I get older and maybe even a bit more popular, I am learning to better accept and appreciate the compliments that come my way. I think as a lot of individuals that are overweight, or anyone for that matter, self-esteem plays a big part in the way we perceive compliments. For a long time I thought that people said nice things to me just to be nice… I didn’t really believe that they truly thought that way about me. The truth is, is that I didn’t think those things about myself so there was no way that I was going to believe that others thought that way of me. My own insecurities wouldn’t allow me to really appreciate the way that others saw me.

Anywho… getting back on track…

I have met many people in life that have transformed into something greater than they previously were. I am talking about people who may have been poor, unattractive or shy in school and then as an adult has transformed into a wealthy, gorgeous socialite who knows no limits. I have also met people who have been raised in the shadow of success and have never went without and don’t even comprehend the meaning of struggle. Through all of the different people that I have met, I notice that there is one very common characteristic between a large majority (I’d say 90%) of them and that’s their pretentiousness. Let me speak freely and tell you that there is nothing more unattractive to me than an egotistical blow-hard! Now for the other 10% of successful individuals who can maintain their sanity, I have nothing for the utmost respect and appreciation.

The thing is… I can sometimes understand why people who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth can get away with thinking they are better than everyone else, they don’t know any better, but I will NEVER understand how people who know what it ‘s like to be on the bottom can EVER look down upon or act in a manor that is demeaning to the people around them. I truly do look at people on a very equal level. I feel like this… we are ALL flawed, we all bleed red and we all can lose everything we have in the blink of an eye… as humans our lives are delicate and can be shattered instantaneously! This fact in itself should be enough to humble any soul.

I say all of that to say this… I was a poor, strung out kid who grew up in the slums of foster care. I struggled with dangerous living circumstances and addiction on a daily basis and as a teenager I was a HOTT MESS! I worked hard, got emancipated and moved straight out of the slums to white suburbia! I went to college and made a life for myself that I never dreamed possible… sh@t, I never thought I would turn 18, let alone become successful.  Years later I don’t work in corporate America anymore, but I am doing what I love and I am living my life the way I chose in the way that makes me happy. I have no regrets and I make no excuses for who I am, no one should! No matter where life takes me I will always be exactly who I am, no more and no less. I am just 1 person in a world of millions and if Hollywood was swallowed up by an earthquake, it wouldn’t matter if I was homeless or Hillary Clinton, I would die all the same.

Looking around at all of the people that surround me and those that I observe from all walks of life, I notice that very few individuals really know what it is to be humble. I believe that everyone at some point in time has been humbled, but to be a humble person is a completely different story. I will never forget where I came from, therefore I know I will continue to appreciate everyday as it come and every person for who they are. Today I find that it’s the people in my life that keep me the most humble as I am so appreciative and grateful for each and every one of them. I know that in this life anything can be taken away in an instant, I never want to take anything or anyone for granted. So at the end of the day I say living humble is the only way to live. Be appreciative of what you have because if you think you’re beyond the reach of “life”, life will be the one to serve you a super-sized slice of humble pie!


The definition of HOPE… The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best

Throughout our lives we rely on hope to get us through some of our darkest hours. We also turn to hope when we are excited about something… hoping things will work out in our favor. Hope is what we as humans rely on to make us feel like whatever we do is worth it.

My question is this… is hope helpful or is it a hindrance? In the current state of our world and our society is it still better to hope that things will change for the better or is it better to look at everything in a more realistic manner and see things for what they are, a MESS! Does hoping that that the gas prices will start to go down or that the relationship that you want so badly will actually work out really help… OR… is it better to look at those things in a more realistic manner and realize that the gas prices are only going to go up and that 50% of all first marriages in the America end in divorce. 

Personally I think that hope is a hindrance… I mean you can hope for the best but you should expect the worst. I think that it’s only when you see things for what they really are that you can you change them. Gas is only going to rise because Americans are going to continue to pay the prices, as we are too fucking lazy or proud to use public transportation. Marriages and relationships are going to continue to fail because everyday our society becomes more dysfunctional and we lose more of the already sorry ass morals that have been instilled in our youth.

When is time to say fuck hope and actually take a stand and make a difference? When is time to stop conforming? When is it time to stop expecting everyone else to do something and actually get off your ass and make an effort of change?

I always get pissed off when people complain about the President and then when asked who they voted for they say “I didn’t vote!” WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP Jack Ass! If you didn’t make an effort to vote your opinion doesn’t mean shit! Did you just HOPE that your vote would count by osmosis? Are you SERIOUS? The scary part of that is that yes… most people are…

Hope should be reserved for small things in life life I hope that my man will bring me flowers… but even that usually ends in disappointment because how many men are truly romantic enough anymore to remember or even just take the time to stop and pick up a simple bouquet?

Maybe I am wrong and maybe hope is what we need to pull our society out of the shitter, but maybe I’m right and we need to be more realistic and productive.

Mostly… I would like to know what you think on….

Barack’N Da Vote!

Hi all… this is my first posting of my new blog and I want to take a moment to thank you for stopping by and checkin it out!

As the people that really know me are aware I am not a political personal… politics piss me off so most of the time I choose to stay neutral and keep my opinions to myself. It seems like no matter how good of friends you are or even if you just met someone… a political convo can get heated quite rapidly!

However… at this point in time I think our country is in desperate need of change so I am Barack’N Da Vote for change! I support Barack Obama and his vision of change as he is the epitome of change. I am posting a video that my good friend Keith FromUpDaBlock put together… he brings a us positive message in a very entertaining way… Good job Keith! 

I hope you all enjoy this video as much as I did!