2013 Underway!

Well we’re 15 days into the New Year and I feel like I’m knocking on death’s door. Unfortunately, I got struck down by this years flu and am just now starting to see some improvement after yesterdays venture to the ER. I am going to share with you a story about my ER experience, since it has really been my only experience of the New Year, besides being stuck in the house going through a box of tissue and a bottle of NyQuil a day.

Here was my experience:

We had seen this hospital several times in passing, as we live nearby. After being sick for 11 days, and with fever and the inability to breath, I decided it was time for the ER. I drove myself and Platinum, who was also ill, to the hospital. As we were on the freeway near the hospital we saw a billboard that said FAST ER waiting time 19 mins. We thought “Awesome” and figured we would be seen quickly. Needless to say, that billboard was GROSSLY inaccurate. We checked in at approx 1:30pm and was not called to triage until about 2:40pm. Out entire ER experience lasted about 6 hours and I did have a 1 hour breathing treatment.

While waiting in the ER I had the most heartbreaking and disturbing experience. A little old lady, 96 to be exact, was asked to go into the public women’s restroom alone to pee in a cup. I followed the lady in, after I was given some meds myself for fever. God only knows how she filled her cup, but she was crying, trying to get up from the toilet and pull up her pants. I offered her my help right away. I had her hold onto my shoulders and hoisted her up, pulled up her depends and pants, put the lid on her urine, put it in the bag and literally put my hands under her arms and carried her out to her wheelchair where her son was waiting. She had told me that she had fallen and she was afraid that she had injured her back… I cannot believe the hospital staff asked her to go in there alone. Afterwards when I brought it to the attention of the nurses they apologized to ME and told me I shouldn’t have helped her because I was already sick and could’ve hurt myself. They should’ve been apologizing to her and not made her gone alone! I was furious and disgusted how things were handled. I wasn’t trying to be a hero, I just did what I thought was right and was saddened at the fact that no one else even acknowledged the inhumanity of it all.

I understand that hospitals get busy. I also understand that this was a new area, that they were under staffed and having technical issues with the computer system. I also understand there is absolutely NO excuse that makes this situation okay. The thing is people are so wrapped up in their own shit that they don’t even realize that could’ve easily been them, their mother, grandmother or loved one. We have got to do better people.

Moving forward this year, I am going to remember this experience and make sure I always do my part. I figure the best way to strike a change is to lead by example.

hands_elderly

Merry Christmas!

I want to wish everyone around the World a very Merry Christmas, Happy: Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus and Holidays! May your day be filled with fond memories, love and laughter. This Christmas has given me so much, and I’m not speaking in terms of material items.

For many years I have been somewhat of a Grinch and had always done my best to avoid the Holidays due to my own personal reasons. This year a few select people have helped me to see that the Holidays, though not ideal, could be a wonderful time of celebration. I have always done my best to be grateful and appreciative for everyone and everything, but I think sometimes we all get a little lost in what we wish we had. When I pulled my head out my ass, I actually realized that what I have is even better than what I was stuck hoping for.

Today I am beyond grateful for my life, in all facets. I am thankful for every lesson, every gift, every second spent with loved ones and every day that I get to wake up and start anew. I am also beyond grateful that I am able to share my life and experiences with all of you! Much love this Holiday season!
merry_christmas_happy_holidays-wide

God & The Sinner

I have never before spoken on the subject of religion, but as today is Christmas Eve, I found it fitting… I also got a message that struck up a rather interesting conversation. Most people seem to confuse me as an Atheist because I do not believe in organize religion… that is in fact inaccurate, I am not an Atheist. Atheist, by definition, is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings… I do not. I very much believe that there is a “God” or a supreme being.

My biggest issue with religion is that it is a man-made structure of belief. There are literally thousands of religions around the world and who to say which religion is “right”? As I see it, there are about 4 people going to Heaven, lol. Then there is the issue of the Bible, also written by man, which has been written and rewritten all based off of interpretations. Once as a kid, I read the Bible, cover to cover, and seemed to understand it very differently than the way most religions teach it. I also find that some of the biggest hypocrites on Earth can be found in churches all around the World.

If so many religions preach peace, why can they not live it and accomplish it? If religion preaches love and acceptance, why are people so full of hate and judgement? If religion teaches the importance of family and togetherness then why are there foster homes, retirement homes, homes for difficult teens, etc. No one takes care of their families anymore, we just shove them off for someone else to take of them because it makes our own lives easier… SMH.

The conversation that lit this fire for me is below…

Mike Leroy Jnr
Repent from fornication and immorality porn woman remember hell is real and your body is d temple of the lord – repent now before it too late christ is knocking

Desiree Devine
LMAO… thank you for the chuckle… I needed a good laugh today! Happy Holidays!

Mike Leroy Jnr
Its not funny you may ridicule the word today but don’t regret tommorrow a word is enough for the wise

Desiree Devine
I’m not the one ridiculing sweets, that would be you. I love and accept everyone for who they are. In fact, I have read the Bible, cover to cover, have you? The same “Lord” that you are referring to states that He does not call upon the righteous as it is the sinners who need repentance… he died for the sinners… ergo Jesus loves and will embrace me even as a sinner. The Bible also states very clearly, and I quote: MATTHEW 7:1-5:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

I am no fool. I understand better than you realize. So… please… do not worry about me and my ways as a sinner, but worry about your damnation as a hypocrite. All sins are equal in the eyes of God.

Besos

Now the gentleman has yet to respond to my last message, but I don’t assume he will. The thing about people like me who dispute religion is that we have to study more about religion than the people who claim to be religious. Funny how I have to be extensively educated about religion to dispute it, but you have to know zero about it to shove it down my throat and tell me that I shall be eternally damned. Again, SMH!

On that note, I wish coexisteveryone around the World the HAPPIEST of Holidays. May your days be filled with love and laughter!

Know Me…

I’m the secret rendezvous
Never the public display
I’m the other woman
Never the only woman
I’m the good time
Never the long time
I’m the lusted
Never the loved

I am a survivor
Never a victim
I am charitable
Never selfish
I am loyal
Never dishonest
I am valuable
Never expendable

Some say shameless whore
I say lucrative business woman
Some say barren harlot
I say healthy butterfly
Some say damaged
I say insightful
Some say licentious
I say liberated

Everyone will assess me
Most will judge me
Some will tolerate me
Few will accept me

It only takes one to love me.

Dating Disasters: “FB Busted”

So my recent experience was kind of a doozy. I had met a man who it had seemed I was meant to meet… I mean I was certain it was Kismet. To give you a little back story… I have  private and personal Facebook profile that I only add my close friends and family to. Several years ago, 4+ maybe, I had added a guy who I had known of, but we had never actually met even though we have many friends in the same circle. A couple of months ago I went through my friends list and unfriended everyone that I hadn’t met in person. So even though we ran in the same circles, because of travel and whatnot, our paths never crossed and I unfriended him.

Approximately 6 or so weeks ago, myself and several of my girlfriends went out to a local restaurant called Blueberry Hill after the club for some drunken dinner. Since I was the designated driver I was sober and sitting at the table listening to the drunken rambling when I saw a man walk in accompanied by a lady, who I had assumed was his girlfriend. When I saw him I actually said out loud “Is that _______?” I will refer to him as DA for future reference. So as I’m sitting there wondering if that had been my long time FB buddy, I saw him keep looking back at me like he recognized me as well. I still didn’t want to say anything as to not disrespect that lady he was with. As we were wrapping up and standing up to leave, I bent down to get my purse and when I stood up he was standing behind me and said “Are you Desiree?” I responded, “Are you D?” he said yes, took my number and that’s where it all began.

For the following weeks it had seemed like a warm, fuzzy dream. I loved spending time with him… I absolutely adored him. Just being around him brought me a certain peace and happiness that I hadn’t experienced in a VERY long time. I adored him and he claimed to be fond of me as well. I opened up to him telling him things I am reluctant to share with most people. I have a troubled past and it often causes complications for me in my relationships, but I was determined to make a conscious effort to overcome my issues.

Being as it was, DA is a very talented cartoonist and I had asked him to help with BBWFFlogoa project and in turn I would help him with some of his professional needs. He drew an amazing logo for the BBW FanFest and I was so impressed and thankful that I was motivated and inspired to go above and beyond to help him be successful in his work. Needless to say I ended up investing a lot more than I got in return. HOWEVER… the logo is amazing as you can see for yourself!

Now you can imagine with pretty much everything being amazing between us how utterly baffled I was to get a friend request from his GIRLFRIEND on FB. I mean REALLY? He had stayed nights and full days at my house… but when I looked at her profile, her profile picture was a picture of them together and there was this post and I quote: “Lions and Texans game has brought me quite a bit of entertainment while working on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day. Everyday I am thankful to have a job, i’m healthy, and I can go home everyday to the man I Love ____DA____”! Wow… the balls on this guy… Godzilla doesn’t have that amount of balls. It’s so crazy that he hid the fact that he LIVED with a woman so well. I was on his FB everyday and there was NO indication that he had a gf or anything.

The best part of this is when I asked him who she was and told him I was out, he got mad at ME! He asked me why I questioned who she was and said that since we weren’t in a committed relationship that it was none of my business who he lived with. LOL… this muthafucka here boy, I tell you WOOW! He had the audacity to mock my feelings and tell me “I’m sorry I hurt you so bad since you thought you were gonna marry me!” REALLY asshole? Yup, I was hurt… Yup, I felt betrayed… Yup, I let my emotions get the best of me… BUT regardless of how I feel… YOU sir are a liar and a douchebag! He continued by telling me that even if he was single he never had any intention of being in any kind of relationship with me due to my line of work. It’s funny how I was the best thing since sliced bread until you get caught in your own deception and then try to turn it around on me.

Needless to say our brief encounter came to an abrupt halt. I sent this kind assholegentleman this well deserved merit badge and applauded him for being a real class act. I told him not to worry I wouldn’t tell his gf about his douchebaggery and we could just pretend that we never ran into each other and go on with our lives as they were. I guess at this point in my life I am just over it. I will never understand why people don’t have the ability to be honest. My personal belief is that if you’re honest in the beginning then there will be no problems in the end… I guess that’s not a widespread belief. Some people can’t help but leave a trail of emotional destruction and I’m not gonna feel bad like I made it that easy to walk in and out of my life. This time it was him, not me. Deuces!

Click here to listen to this blog narrated by me!

ONLY 11 HRS LEFT!

There is ONLY 11 MORE HOURS until the END of the SUPER Early Bird Special! DON’T MISS 30% OFF PLUS a FREE BONUS! Visit http://bbwfanfest.com to purchase you tickets! Booth space and attendee packages starting as low as $99!

The turn out of this years event has already surpassed our expectations and we are overjoyed by the positive response we have received from models and fans alike. I CANNOT wait for this… it’s gonna be EPIC!

A couple of other things we are working on…

  1. Model Affiliate Program – Models get paid off of your fan referrals! (Coming in Dec.)
  2. Categories announced and award nominations begin Monday, Nov. 26th!
  3. Models will soon have a chance to WIN a booth at BBW FanFest 2013 – STAY TUNED!
  4. BBW FanFest will be sponsoring an AVN party… details coming soon!

There is so much going on… all I can say is STAY TUNED, LOL!

As always, thank you for your LoVe and support! XoXo Desi

Insatiable Me!

So as of lately my sex drive has been insatiable… I can’t seem to get enough, seriously, I’m insanely horny ALL the time! I have been masturbating like a savage beast, 2 to 3 times a day, but that doesn’t even curb the throbbing sensation in my pussy. I thought that when I had my hysterectomy last May that it would help a bit, but no such luck. The worst part is when I get texts or calls from guys that I just want to mount and ride like Seabiscuit.

The other day one of my close friends with AMAZING benefits, sent me a very HOT video of him masturbating to one of my movies and cumming all over my picture… imagine how salacious I became after that! I watch him jack off to me EVERY TIME I get a moment alone. I watch the video so much I have it down to perfect timing. The video is 1 minute long and I watch it through 2 times… by the 2nd time I see him cum I have the most INTENSE orgasm and cum so hard I feel it drip down my ass crack. I have used my bullet so much in the last week I’ve had to replace the batteries twice, thank you Costco for buying in bulk.

The best part is when I’m laying on my back and I slide the bullet in between my pussy lips, I slowly turn it from low to high and squeeze my thighs tight to hold it in place, I begin to rub my nipples softly and move slowly while the pressure from my thighs make the bullet press down on my clit. 2 minutes are all it takes for me to cum to the thought of a big cock thrusting inside of me until it blows its load deep in me, it pulsates inside while I squeeze out every last drop… he pulls out slowly and it begins again.

Dating Disasters: “D” Bag

Installment 2 of the “Dating Disasters” series is brought to you by my good friend Platinum Puzzy! This one is going to be a fickle tale of flattery FAIL! Enjoy…

As far as my dating disasters go back, MANY MANY moons ago, “D” was one of the VERY first heart breaks and dose of dating reality I would ever encounter.  We met through mutual friends at a BBQ.  I was invited by my friend Stacy, he was invited by her husband Richard.  He first caught my eye when I was a pouring drink for myself, waiting for the Tyson fight to come on.  He was attractive, nice smile, smelled VERY good and was very laid back.  Our eyes kept meeting, it was apparent he had expressed some interest in me as well and eventually I had enough drinks to get up the courage to accidentally bump into him and begin a conversation.

We exchanged numbers, made small talk and eventually parted ways and finishing the night apart.  I didn’t give him much more thought for the next few days and finally he called.  We talked for hours, sharing life stories, what we want and don’t want and eventually geared towards a conversation about dating.  Of course, the first things we got out the way were our relationship status, kids, etc.  He says he is single, and so am I and that was that.  We both agreed that we were looking for something “casual” but with the open option for whatever we both may be up for.

A few more conversations were exchanged, and finally he asked me out on a date.  IT WAS ABOUT TIME.  The first date was great, he said and did all the right things.  We ended with a romantic kiss, butterflies in my stomach and all.  I went to bed dreaming of what a wonderful time we had, and anticipated his next call.

The first month of our “dating” experience was like something out of a storybook.  He called frequently, came and saw me regularly and maintained as if I was the only one.  Then the pieces started falling apart and the questions poured in.

Month 2 of our “relationship” or so I thought, we spent a lot of time arguing.  I would question his absence, he would make up detailed lies to cover his tracks.  I am a collections rep and detective by nature, and if I want to find the truth I will.  Eventually the truth would find me.

It came during a time when things “seemed” to be normal, and I was beginning to just accept that maybe the turbulence of relationships past were haunting my emotions.  He had convinced me that I was just nervous and to relax.  Then, the drama ensued.

I was at work, anticipating my lunch date I had with “D” with only 30 minutes to go and I get a call.  Hello, is this “Kari?” from a strange number and a strange female voice.  I replied, “yes it is, how can I help you?”  She went on to tell me that she knew about me, knows I’ve been spending time with “her man” and that she is now informing me that it was over.  Silence overcame me, and I couldn’t fix my mouth to even respond.  Those butterflies in my stomach turned to a knot and had me ready to vomit.

I didn’t divulge any information until I found WHO she was and if she was REALLY who she said she was.  I was going to get answers before digging a hole and giving into her.  I told her I had to go, finish working and that I appreciate her call, and proceeded to hang up on her.  It was almost lunch time and I was meeting the VERY person I wanted to confront in just minutes.

The time to clock out DRAGGED and seemed like HOURS more than minutes.  FINALLY, it was that time, and I ran out of there faster than Flo Jo.  I pulled up to the restaurant where we were having lunch, and didn’t see his car so I went in, got us a table and waited for him to come.  After 5 minutes passed, and this is unusual for him I decided to call and find out where he was.  He didn’t answer, and at this point I knew something just wasn’t adding up.  I was going to give him a few more minutes and if I didn’t hear from him, it was time to bounce and go get something to eat and head back to work.

Quarter after, I am grabbing my pocket-book and getting ready to leave when he comes storming in and tells me to sit down.  His voice was angry, and he was a bit forceful.  I already have an attitude, and look at him like “Are you crazy or just stupid?”  but sit down to obtain answers to what in the sam hell is going on.

The FIRST thing that comes out of his mouth is “What did you tell her?” ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hell nah!  Needless to say, I didn’t eat lunch and he wasn’t trying to do anything but demand answers himself.  I explained what happened, and that I didn’t share anything and began interrogating as to who she was to him and why was he worried about her calling me.

I could NEVER be prepared for the answers.  WIFE?  You are married?  You have KIDS?  You told me you didn’t have kids!  Oh hell no… Here I was dating someone who wasn’t even AVAILABLE.  Luckily for me, the answers came before any real feelings developed and I was able to break it off before I was TOO hurt about it.

What is funny about this situation, when they finally divorced a couple of years later he had the BALLS to hit me up and ask if I would be interested in dating him again.

>>>>>>>>>>>>> YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!  ABSOLUTELY NOT <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

And that was one of my VERY first dating disasters.  Had be been honest, I would’ve at least had the option to deal with this or decline.  I wouldn’t have because the last thing I was to be is #2 on someone’s list of priorities and if shit falls through the “other” woman is ALWAYS left with nothing but empty hands. End of story.

BBW FanFest Super Early Bird Specials!

BBW FanFest Super Early Bird Specials will open Nov. 19th at 12 am and last for ONLY 72 HOURS! 30% OFF (booths space for models and vendors as well as attendee packages) PLUS every purchase will include a 2-Day Well Rounded LV entry! STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS!

Dating Disasters, A New Series!

So I have come up with the idea to put out a new blog series that highlights the personal dating disasters of myself and my close friends. The funny thing about this series will be that MOST people will be able to relate. Shit, maybe it can even be a helpful guide for the fellas on WHAT NOT TO DO while dating! LOL

Now I want to be clear that this is not a “Man Bashing” event. I will be the first one to admit that I am emotionally retarded. When it comes to dealing with emotions I panic. I don’t panic in a good way either… it’s the kind of running around aimlessly while screaming and begging for death kinda inner panic. So I am in no position to judge anyone, HOWEVER, I do know that  everyone wants to feel special and not be taken for granted.

So… let’s get started! After much consideration, I have decided to keep the names of the individuals private, though I would have loved to put them all on blast for my own personal amusement, but I need to be the bigger person, no pun intended, lol!

I am going to start out with the “Fantasy Stripper” disaster. This experience is precisely why I DO NOT enjoy online dating. A friend convinced me that I HAD to try online dating since I don’t go out a lot anymore… so I did. I set up a profile, which was active for less than 72 hours, with a random user name and basic phone cam pics. I immediately started getting the slew of pervs that I’m certain copy and paste the SAME message to every woman on the site. I started going through messages and saw a few that I figured I’d respond to and there happened to be one who stated that he was a male stripper moving to Vegas in a couple of weeks. Now I have dated male strippers in the past because it just seems like it’s easier when it comes to understanding each others professions, but truthfully I prefer not to… but I figured WTH! So we exchanged a few messages online and began texting.

Texting back and forth went on for a few days, then… there was the first phone call. He called me and what I had imagined he would sound like was totally off. I didn’t really give it much thought because we actually had a pretty good conversation about industry stuff and whatnot, he seemed very down to earth and humble, which I was into! I got off the phone before any kind of sex talk ensued and we picked up texting again. I’m not really the kind of person that likes to do a lot of corresponding via technology, I like to meet face to face to see if there is any chemistry. If there is no chemistry we are both just wasting our time. Since he stated that he was moving to Vegas from LA, he said he was staying at the Palms until he found a place. One day I was heading to the strip for some business and asked him if he wanted to meet up… he said he was in LA. At that moment I questioned him since he had just told me around 4am that he was getting back to his room at the Palms.

I decided to do a little investigating and typed his phone number into Facebook, lol… imagine my dismay when some random, engaged, donut shop worker from Salina, KS popped up! Needless to say I was FURIOUS. I understand people wanting to live out their fantasies but COME THE FUCK ON… WHY did you just waste several days of my time PRETENDING to be someone you’re not? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It just happened that he had his fiance linked to his profile so I commenced to send her an elaborate message about what he man does in his spare time. It may seem a little drastic, but dude deserved it.

← Guy I THOUGHT I was talking to…

Kolby Edwards

            Guy I was ACTUALLY talking to… →

I said what I had to say to the douche and told him that I had sent his fiance a long message. I didn’t hear back from him for a while but when he finally responded he begged me to not say anything to her, but it was too late. I told him his actions have consequences and that was that until later in the night when he text me “Is she mad?”… LMFAO, REALLY? You’re asking ME if YOUR fiance is mad at YOU? I told him I was done with him and haven’t heard a peep since.

The girlfriend never responded to me, but a few days later I checked and both of their Facebook pages were deleted, his online profiles were deleted and there is very little trace left of him and his fantasy persona. SMH… I would ask what is wrong with people, but I don’t have it in me to empathize.

Lesson: People can be anyone they want to on the other side of technology. Before you engage in pleasantries, get verification that they are who they say they are.

Until next time… thank you all for your LoVe and support!