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2013 Underway!

Well we’re 15 days into the New Year and I feel like I’m knocking on death’s door. Unfortunately, I got struck down by this years flu and am just now starting to see some improvement after yesterdays venture to the ER. I am going to share with you a story about my ER experience, since it has really been my only experience of the New Year, besides being stuck in the house going through a box of tissue and a bottle of NyQuil a day.

Here was my experience:

We had seen this hospital several times in passing, as we live nearby. After being sick for 11 days, and with fever and the inability to breath, I decided it was time for the ER. I drove myself and Platinum, who was also ill, to the hospital. As we were on the freeway near the hospital we saw a billboard that said FAST ER waiting time 19 mins. We thought “Awesome” and figured we would be seen quickly. Needless to say, that billboard was GROSSLY inaccurate. We checked in at approx 1:30pm and was not called to triage until about 2:40pm. Out entire ER experience lasted about 6 hours and I did have a 1 hour breathing treatment.

While waiting in the ER I had the most heartbreaking and disturbing experience. A little old lady, 96 to be exact, was asked to go into the public women’s restroom alone to pee in a cup. I followed the lady in, after I was given some meds myself for fever. God only knows how she filled her cup, but she was crying, trying to get up from the toilet and pull up her pants. I offered her my help right away. I had her hold onto my shoulders and hoisted her up, pulled up her depends and pants, put the lid on her urine, put it in the bag and literally put my hands under her arms and carried her out to her wheelchair where her son was waiting. She had told me that she had fallen and she was afraid that she had injured her back… I cannot believe the hospital staff asked her to go in there alone. Afterwards when I brought it to the attention of the nurses they apologized to ME and told me I shouldn’t have helped her because I was already sick and could’ve hurt myself. They should’ve been apologizing to her and not made her gone alone! I was furious and disgusted how things were handled. I wasn’t trying to be a hero, I just did what I thought was right and was saddened at the fact that no one else even acknowledged the inhumanity of it all.

I understand that hospitals get busy. I also understand that this was a new area, that they were under staffed and having technical issues with the computer system. I also understand there is absolutely NO excuse that makes this situation okay. The thing is people are so wrapped up in their own shit that they don’t even realize that could’ve easily been them, their mother, grandmother or loved one. We have got to do better people.

Moving forward this year, I am going to remember this experience and make sure I always do my part. I figure the best way to strike a change is to lead by example.

hands_elderly

Merry Christmas!

I want to wish everyone around the World a very Merry Christmas, Happy: Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus and Holidays! May your day be filled with fond memories, love and laughter. This Christmas has given me so much, and I’m not speaking in terms of material items.

For many years I have been somewhat of a Grinch and had always done my best to avoid the Holidays due to my own personal reasons. This year a few select people have helped me to see that the Holidays, though not ideal, could be a wonderful time of celebration. I have always done my best to be grateful and appreciative for everyone and everything, but I think sometimes we all get a little lost in what we wish we had. When I pulled my head out my ass, I actually realized that what I have is even better than what I was stuck hoping for.

Today I am beyond grateful for my life, in all facets. I am thankful for every lesson, every gift, every second spent with loved ones and every day that I get to wake up and start anew. I am also beyond grateful that I am able to share my life and experiences with all of you! Much love this Holiday season!
merry_christmas_happy_holidays-wide

God & The Sinner

I have never before spoken on the subject of religion, but as today is Christmas Eve, I found it fitting… I also got a message that struck up a rather interesting conversation. Most people seem to confuse me as an Atheist because I do not believe in organize religion… that is in fact inaccurate, I am not an Atheist. Atheist, by definition, is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings… I do not. I very much believe that there is a “God” or a supreme being.

My biggest issue with religion is that it is a man-made structure of belief. There are literally thousands of religions around the world and who to say which religion is “right”? As I see it, there are about 4 people going to Heaven, lol. Then there is the issue of the Bible, also written by man, which has been written and rewritten all based off of interpretations. Once as a kid, I read the Bible, cover to cover, and seemed to understand it very differently than the way most religions teach it. I also find that some of the biggest hypocrites on Earth can be found in churches all around the World.

If so many religions preach peace, why can they not live it and accomplish it? If religion preaches love and acceptance, why are people so full of hate and judgement? If religion teaches the importance of family and togetherness then why are there foster homes, retirement homes, homes for difficult teens, etc. No one takes care of their families anymore, we just shove them off for someone else to take of them because it makes our own lives easier… SMH.

The conversation that lit this fire for me is below…

Mike Leroy Jnr
Repent from fornication and immorality porn woman remember hell is real and your body is d temple of the lord – repent now before it too late christ is knocking

Desiree Devine
LMAO… thank you for the chuckle… I needed a good laugh today! Happy Holidays!

Mike Leroy Jnr
Its not funny you may ridicule the word today but don’t regret tommorrow a word is enough for the wise

Desiree Devine
I’m not the one ridiculing sweets, that would be you. I love and accept everyone for who they are. In fact, I have read the Bible, cover to cover, have you? The same “Lord” that you are referring to states that He does not call upon the righteous as it is the sinners who need repentance… he died for the sinners… ergo Jesus loves and will embrace me even as a sinner. The Bible also states very clearly, and I quote: MATTHEW 7:1-5:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

I am no fool. I understand better than you realize. So… please… do not worry about me and my ways as a sinner, but worry about your damnation as a hypocrite. All sins are equal in the eyes of God.

Besos

Now the gentleman has yet to respond to my last message, but I don’t assume he will. The thing about people like me who dispute religion is that we have to study more about religion than the people who claim to be religious. Funny how I have to be extensively educated about religion to dispute it, but you have to know zero about it to shove it down my throat and tell me that I shall be eternally damned. Again, SMH!

On that note, I wish coexisteveryone around the World the HAPPIEST of Holidays. May your days be filled with love and laughter!

Know Me…

I’m the secret rendezvous
Never the public display
I’m the other woman
Never the only woman
I’m the good time
Never the long time
I’m the lusted
Never the loved

I am a survivor
Never a victim
I am charitable
Never selfish
I am loyal
Never dishonest
I am valuable
Never expendable

Some say shameless whore
I say lucrative business woman
Some say barren harlot
I say healthy butterfly
Some say damaged
I say insightful
Some say licentious
I say liberated

Everyone will assess me
Most will judge me
Some will tolerate me
Few will accept me

It only takes one to love me.

Dating Disasters: “FB Busted”

So my recent experience was kind of a doozy. I had met a man who it had seemed I was meant to meet… I mean I was certain it was Kismet. To give you a little back story… I have  private and personal Facebook profile that I only add my close friends and family to. Several years ago, 4+ maybe, I had added a guy who I had known of, but we had never actually met even though we have many friends in the same circle. A couple of months ago I went through my friends list and unfriended everyone that I hadn’t met in person. So even though we ran in the same circles, because of travel and whatnot, our paths never crossed and I unfriended him.

Approximately 6 or so weeks ago, myself and several of my girlfriends went out to a local restaurant called Blueberry Hill after the club for some drunken dinner. Since I was the designated driver I was sober and sitting at the table listening to the drunken rambling when I saw a man walk in accompanied by a lady, who I had assumed was his girlfriend. When I saw him I actually said out loud “Is that _______?” I will refer to him as DA for future reference. So as I’m sitting there wondering if that had been my long time FB buddy, I saw him keep looking back at me like he recognized me as well. I still didn’t want to say anything as to not disrespect that lady he was with. As we were wrapping up and standing up to leave, I bent down to get my purse and when I stood up he was standing behind me and said “Are you Desiree?” I responded, “Are you D?” he said yes, took my number and that’s where it all began.

For the following weeks it had seemed like a warm, fuzzy dream. I loved spending time with him… I absolutely adored him. Just being around him brought me a certain peace and happiness that I hadn’t experienced in a VERY long time. I adored him and he claimed to be fond of me as well. I opened up to him telling him things I am reluctant to share with most people. I have a troubled past and it often causes complications for me in my relationships, but I was determined to make a conscious effort to overcome my issues.

Being as it was, DA is a very talented cartoonist and I had asked him to help with BBWFFlogoa project and in turn I would help him with some of his professional needs. He drew an amazing logo for the BBW FanFest and I was so impressed and thankful that I was motivated and inspired to go above and beyond to help him be successful in his work. Needless to say I ended up investing a lot more than I got in return. HOWEVER… the logo is amazing as you can see for yourself!

Now you can imagine with pretty much everything being amazing between us how utterly baffled I was to get a friend request from his GIRLFRIEND on FB. I mean REALLY? He had stayed nights and full days at my house… but when I looked at her profile, her profile picture was a picture of them together and there was this post and I quote: “Lions and Texans game has brought me quite a bit of entertainment while working on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day. Everyday I am thankful to have a job, i’m healthy, and I can go home everyday to the man I Love ____DA____”! Wow… the balls on this guy… Godzilla doesn’t have that amount of balls. It’s so crazy that he hid the fact that he LIVED with a woman so well. I was on his FB everyday and there was NO indication that he had a gf or anything.

The best part of this is when I asked him who she was and told him I was out, he got mad at ME! He asked me why I questioned who she was and said that since we weren’t in a committed relationship that it was none of my business who he lived with. LOL… this muthafucka here boy, I tell you WOOW! He had the audacity to mock my feelings and tell me “I’m sorry I hurt you so bad since you thought you were gonna marry me!” REALLY asshole? Yup, I was hurt… Yup, I felt betrayed… Yup, I let my emotions get the best of me… BUT regardless of how I feel… YOU sir are a liar and a douchebag! He continued by telling me that even if he was single he never had any intention of being in any kind of relationship with me due to my line of work. It’s funny how I was the best thing since sliced bread until you get caught in your own deception and then try to turn it around on me.

Needless to say our brief encounter came to an abrupt halt. I sent this kind assholegentleman this well deserved merit badge and applauded him for being a real class act. I told him not to worry I wouldn’t tell his gf about his douchebaggery and we could just pretend that we never ran into each other and go on with our lives as they were. I guess at this point in my life I am just over it. I will never understand why people don’t have the ability to be honest. My personal belief is that if you’re honest in the beginning then there will be no problems in the end… I guess that’s not a widespread belief. Some people can’t help but leave a trail of emotional destruction and I’m not gonna feel bad like I made it that easy to walk in and out of my life. This time it was him, not me. Deuces!

Click here to listen to this blog narrated by me!

Insatiable Me!

So as of lately my sex drive has been insatiable… I can’t seem to get enough, seriously, I’m insanely horny ALL the time! I have been masturbating like a savage beast, 2 to 3 times a day, but that doesn’t even curb the throbbing sensation in my pussy. I thought that when I had my hysterectomy last May that it would help a bit, but no such luck. The worst part is when I get texts or calls from guys that I just want to mount and ride like Seabiscuit.

The other day one of my close friends with AMAZING benefits, sent me a very HOT video of him masturbating to one of my movies and cumming all over my picture… imagine how salacious I became after that! I watch him jack off to me EVERY TIME I get a moment alone. I watch the video so much I have it down to perfect timing. The video is 1 minute long and I watch it through 2 times… by the 2nd time I see him cum I have the most INTENSE orgasm and cum so hard I feel it drip down my ass crack. I have used my bullet so much in the last week I’ve had to replace the batteries twice, thank you Costco for buying in bulk.

The best part is when I’m laying on my back and I slide the bullet in between my pussy lips, I slowly turn it from low to high and squeeze my thighs tight to hold it in place, I begin to rub my nipples softly and move slowly while the pressure from my thighs make the bullet press down on my clit. 2 minutes are all it takes for me to cum to the thought of a big cock thrusting inside of me until it blows its load deep in me, it pulsates inside while I squeeze out every last drop… he pulls out slowly and it begins again.

BBW FanFest Super Early Bird Specials!

BBW FanFest Super Early Bird Specials will open Nov. 19th at 12 am and last for ONLY 72 HOURS! 30% OFF (booths space for models and vendors as well as attendee packages) PLUS every purchase will include a 2-Day Well Rounded LV entry! STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS!

Shooting for BBW Buffet!

Today I did my first shoot with Reenaye Starr for BBWBuffet.com! It was the first time I have done a shoot for a feeder site, but I had a good time! I REALLY enjoyed working with Reenaye and her business partner. I also had a lot of fun doing my sets with Platinum Puzzy… it was at some points VERY difficult to keep a straight face, lol!

Here’s a pic that was taken by Platinum of Reenaye shooting me… good times!

I’m not sure when the first set will be posted on the site, but I will definitely keep y’all up to date.

I am heading off in the morning to shoot for RedHotPhatGirlz.com! It’s been quite awhile since I last shot for them, but I’m sure it’ll be fun… I’ll post a pic from the shoot on my twitter so make sure you check in… twitter.com/desireedevine!

As always… thank you all SO MUCH for all of your LoVe and support! TTYS

East Coast Tour 2012

If you’re wondering if the rumors are true about Platinum Puzzy and I doing an East Coast Tour are true or not, let me help clarify… YES, it’s true! Plat and I have teamed up once again and are making our way up the East Coast. We are starting off our tour here in Jacksonville, Fl and eventually ending back in Las Vegas, with MANY stops along the way! I am going to list the first half of the dates below for the month of August and later I will post an update with September dates.

August 2012 Dates

1-3 Jacksonville, FL
3-5 Tampa, FL
5-8 Ft. Lauderdale/Miami
8-10 Orlando, FL
10-14 Atlanta, GA
14-17 Raleigh/Durham, NC
17-21 Norfolk, VA
21-31 DC/NY

For scheduling, calendar, Q&A and donation information please refer to www.DesireeOnDemand.com!

For booking please email me at desireedevine@gmail.com.
Two girl sessions and discounts for extended time is available.

The map below shows all the cities we will stop in, cross-country dates are to be determined and will be posted within the next week.

We look forward to seeing you during our travels!

Reppin BBW!

Since I have been getting back into the swing of things and have been becoming more involved in the BBW world I have noticed a lot of things that have just really, for lack of a better term, repulsed me. Now these are just things that I have observed and experienced personally. The things I will talk about in this blog will be based solely on my own personal views and opinions. This blog will offend a few, but hey… honestly is my policy! I’ll say it right off the top… I’m not trying to be a bitch or insult anyone, I’m just describing my observations and sharing my opinions. With that said… let’s do this!

First and foremost I recognize that the world looks at the BBW industry as a niche. I also understand that most companies are mainstream and therefore focus their attention on the skinny, mainstream models. Because of this the quality of mainstream work is much better and sets the bar to very high standards. There are a few companies in the BBW realm who have met those mainstream standards, Sensational Video and Score just to name a couple, and they noticeably continuously strive for better. The majority of the other companies that shoot BBW content definitely do not even attempt to compete with mainstream standards as it’s just simply not in the budget.

With knowing that BBW is already looked at in such a way that it’s hardly recognized as a legitimate part of the industry makes me that much more adamant that the people who represent for the industry should do so in a fashion that holds up to the mainstream standards. Let me give a few examples, for instance… since a picture is worth a thousand words, below is an example of something people might remember for mainstream and then from BBW. Now which one would leave a lasting impression for you? The skinny girl who dressed like a Canary or the big broad who DIDN’T WEAR SHOES on the red carpet? I think the answer is clear.

Example #2
I recently attended an event where vendors where promoting and selling various things as I came across a booth that was promoting for an event concerning BBW models and what not. Now when I think of BBW models I think of pretty girls looking there absolute best. I think of outfits, hair, makeup and fun accessories… so imagine my dismay when I walked up to the booth and saw the organizer running it wearing a night-gown (I knew it instantly as I have the same one) with messy hair and no makeup. Really??? Is that the quality of model you want to show the world is going to be attending your event? My mother has more style and I don’t think she’s changed her hair or wore a stitch of makeup in over 20 years! Come on now…

Example #3
Social media: Now social media is a mess in all aspects, period. I have read Facebook and twitter feeds from all types of entertainers that makes you want to throw out your computer, leave western civilization and become a Buddhist monk. I have also noticed that the successful mainstream girls keep it light and fun with minimum drama… there’s always gotta be some drama, let’s be real. For the most part though, they stick to keeping their followers happy with sexy pics and interesting blurbs. Now on the other hand when I read my fellow BBW colleagues tweets I usually just shake my head in disbelief or quit reading as it too painful to go on. There’s so much animosity and contempt between girls that timelines are full of shit talking, cryptic messages and personal info that really needs to stay personal. I cannot lie and say I am not guilty of the occasional shit talking or cryptic message, but I can guarantee they are few and far between and will never fill someones feed with continuously spewed bullshit. It’s truly shocking that some girls even have fans who follow them when at any point in time they can be subjected to, or even the subject of, a serious rant or tongue lashing. I think the most disturbing though is the ratchet ghettoness of someone talking about sucking dick and making her pussy cum immediately followed by many pics of her several children. Seriously? I am all about being proud of your family, but seriously? Not the time nor place.

Example #4
This example again hits on the animosity and contempt that runs between women in our industry. Below is the exact PRIVATE text that I had personally sent someone after having enough with her shenanigans…

“Hey xxxxxxxx, this is Desiree. I tried to call you but there was no answer. I am going to ask you one time nicely to please keep my name out of your mouth. I have now had 3 people come tell me that you have mentioned my name and I don’t appreciate it. I don’t know you very well but you have quite a reputation and from what I can tell, it precedes you. I am not the kind of person that will talk behind your back, you will always know what I have to say first hand. I do not in any way shape or form be associated with you. To be associated with you is to be associated with bad business and drama. xxxxx also made it clear that he didn’t want to be associated with you but yet you choose to try to use his event to promote your own, grimy. As of this moment we have no beef but if you keep on, we will. Good luck to you.”

The following day several comments pop up on her public timeline and are forwarded to me accusing me of “Texts, threatening phone calls, posting nasty comments and call outs…”! As far as I know I sent one text but there were no threats, it wasn’t public and I was very nice considering the situation. The woman, who is old enough to be my mother mind you, goes on to say “All this shit talk, all this character reference all this kindergarten sand box shit…your middle age. You won’t be in porn for ever, worry bout what happens to u after the movies over…”… that’s some good advice, but I guess it’s more of a do as I say not as I do situation since the statements that followed were full of adult rational… “Shit starters, Stank Bitches and Broke ass bumb giggas, I eat you for breakfast.”

Unfortunately I’m not immune to bits of drama but I refused to get into any kind of back and forth with this person, or any person for that matter, as I just don’t think it’s worth the time and energy. Truthfully the only reason I bring it up now is because it is an example of the common types of drama that can totally be avoided on a public level if you just handle things privately.

I am not perfect and I need to do a much better job at handling certain situations, but I still believe that at some point the BBW world will rise to the occasion and show all the people who looked down on us that we deserve to be recognized and we can be just as beautiful and sought after as any one of those mainstream girls. This is my plea to every big girl in the World… hold your head up high, be proud of who you are, show everyone around you that you value yourself and take pride in your appearance because you know you’re worth it, but most of all LoVe yourself and everyone else will follow.

My final example is pure Plus Sized beauty personified… beauty runs deep.

As always, thank you for the continued love and support! (✿◠‿◠)