Tag Archives: blogging

Model Advice 101 – Thrive Don’t Follow

So this post is all about being successfully independent in the adult industry. I am going to give you 5 key examples of some of the biggest mistakes models make today.

Blindly following First off, know who you are allowing to lead you. If you want to be successful then you need to emulate success. A lot of models in the industry today are just following behind the “hype” man. DO YOUR RESEARCH folks. Google is your best friend. If you think their is someone who can guide you in your career then you should know what they’ve done in theirs. They promise paid work… have they ever been paid for their work? They promise you fame and fortune… do they have an image worth mention or a pot to piss in? Have they been truly successful in their careers or is it just a bunch of fluff that THEY have put into the cyberverse? I can start my own Wiki page or easily acquire 100k+ followers on twitter… that is what is commonly referred to as hype.

Look folks, there are a lot of people out there that need you more than you need them. They don’t have a name that can stand alone so they need new faces and recognizable names to work with them to make them seem more relevant. THESE PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND! Moving along.

Social Media Drama NO ONE likes someone who constantly has drama. Fans don’t want to see you beefing, they want to see you being sexy or to know who’s titties you want to be motorboating. Keep it light and fun!

Potential employers or other models that you would work with for content don’t want to deal with drama so guess who they are gonna avoid shooting with in the future… yup!

Remember!!! Those who talk the most about being over the drama generally have the MOST drama. Those who are regularly “taking out the trash”, “removing toxic elements” or “cleaning house” probably have a larger than average amount of drama. If people are always on the “Why me, I’m a good person with a big heart” bandwagon, they too are probably a common drama denominator!

Don’t get pulled in by a drama filled succubus, it never turns out well. Trust me, we’ve all been there and learned the hard way.

Ego – BE HUMBLE! I get that a lot of you get into this industry for the attention. I understand that it’s nice to have people fawning all over you and paying you just to get a glimpse of you on cam or at and event… don’t let that go to your head people. I have seen women and men get a little to big for their britches and think that they are too good to put in any real work, guess where those people are now… yeah, I don’t know either.

In any industry, in any line of business you will find that the same people you shit on on your way to the top will be the same people that don’t bother lending a hand when you are in a free fall to the bottom. Karma is always watching.

Laziness 5 words: You Have To Be Invested! You have to want success, you have to feel success, you have to have the drive to go out and no matter what obstacles you face, BE SUCCESSFUL. No one is going to just hand you success, and if they did it would come with a hefty price tag. Nothing in this life is free. If you want it, you have to earn it. NO excuses. No one will ever work harder for you than you will, however, if you invest in yourself it will make others want to invest in you.

For a few years I wasn’t sure of what I wanted, what direction I wanted to go, who I wanted to be, so I got lazy. I didn’t live up to my own potential and I didn’t make the money that I knew I could make, the money that I had made for so many years before. For that, I only had myself to blame.

Wish it. Dream it. Do it.

Ignorance Much like in the first section where I mentioned doing your research, I am going to press that issue again here. So MANY models go out and shoot all the content they can and know NOTHING about contracts, model releases, 2257 laws, copyright, etc. THIS IS A BUSINESS, treat it as such. If you were going to start a bakery you would have to lease a property, file for a business license, file articles with the state for tax purposes, etc. This is YOUR business, learn how to run it. When someone shoots your content, the photographer/videographer owns that content unless otherwise agreed upon, have a contract. If you shoot content trade, get model release and 2257 documentation RIGHT THEN… don’t wait until you have a falling out with a model or he/she goes MIA and then that content is worthless. Learn copyright and branding laws so you don’t get sued… You CANNOT shoot porn with any Branded Companies product. If you shoot with lube, remove or hide the label. If you are shooting with beverages, turn the can/bottle/etc. so that the logo cannot be seen. I could go on for days, but I shan’t.

That concludes today’s Model Advice 101, I hope that some of you find it useful!

BBWH-Logo

 

 

 

Know Me…

I’m the secret rendezvous
Never the public display
I’m the other woman
Never the only woman
I’m the good time
Never the long time
I’m the lusted
Never the loved

I am a survivor
Never a victim
I am charitable
Never selfish
I am loyal
Never dishonest
I am valuable
Never expendable

Some say shameless whore
I say lucrative business woman
Some say barren harlot
I say healthy butterfly
Some say damaged
I say insightful
Some say licentious
I say liberated

Everyone will assess me
Most will judge me
Some will tolerate me
Few will accept me

It only takes one to love me.

Dating Disasters, A New Series!

So I have come up with the idea to put out a new blog series that highlights the personal dating disasters of myself and my close friends. The funny thing about this series will be that MOST people will be able to relate. Shit, maybe it can even be a helpful guide for the fellas on WHAT NOT TO DO while dating! LOL

Now I want to be clear that this is not a “Man Bashing” event. I will be the first one to admit that I am emotionally retarded. When it comes to dealing with emotions I panic. I don’t panic in a good way either… it’s the kind of running around aimlessly while screaming and begging for death kinda inner panic. So I am in no position to judge anyone, HOWEVER, I do know that  everyone wants to feel special and not be taken for granted.

So… let’s get started! After much consideration, I have decided to keep the names of the individuals private, though I would have loved to put them all on blast for my own personal amusement, but I need to be the bigger person, no pun intended, lol!

I am going to start out with the “Fantasy Stripper” disaster. This experience is precisely why I DO NOT enjoy online dating. A friend convinced me that I HAD to try online dating since I don’t go out a lot anymore… so I did. I set up a profile, which was active for less than 72 hours, with a random user name and basic phone cam pics. I immediately started getting the slew of pervs that I’m certain copy and paste the SAME message to every woman on the site. I started going through messages and saw a few that I figured I’d respond to and there happened to be one who stated that he was a male stripper moving to Vegas in a couple of weeks. Now I have dated male strippers in the past because it just seems like it’s easier when it comes to understanding each others professions, but truthfully I prefer not to… but I figured WTH! So we exchanged a few messages online and began texting.

Texting back and forth went on for a few days, then… there was the first phone call. He called me and what I had imagined he would sound like was totally off. I didn’t really give it much thought because we actually had a pretty good conversation about industry stuff and whatnot, he seemed very down to earth and humble, which I was into! I got off the phone before any kind of sex talk ensued and we picked up texting again. I’m not really the kind of person that likes to do a lot of corresponding via technology, I like to meet face to face to see if there is any chemistry. If there is no chemistry we are both just wasting our time. Since he stated that he was moving to Vegas from LA, he said he was staying at the Palms until he found a place. One day I was heading to the strip for some business and asked him if he wanted to meet up… he said he was in LA. At that moment I questioned him since he had just told me around 4am that he was getting back to his room at the Palms.

I decided to do a little investigating and typed his phone number into Facebook, lol… imagine my dismay when some random, engaged, donut shop worker from Salina, KS popped up! Needless to say I was FURIOUS. I understand people wanting to live out their fantasies but COME THE FUCK ON… WHY did you just waste several days of my time PRETENDING to be someone you’re not? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It just happened that he had his fiance linked to his profile so I commenced to send her an elaborate message about what he man does in his spare time. It may seem a little drastic, but dude deserved it.

← Guy I THOUGHT I was talking to…

Kolby Edwards

            Guy I was ACTUALLY talking to… →

I said what I had to say to the douche and told him that I had sent his fiance a long message. I didn’t hear back from him for a while but when he finally responded he begged me to not say anything to her, but it was too late. I told him his actions have consequences and that was that until later in the night when he text me “Is she mad?”… LMFAO, REALLY? You’re asking ME if YOUR fiance is mad at YOU? I told him I was done with him and haven’t heard a peep since.

The girlfriend never responded to me, but a few days later I checked and both of their Facebook pages were deleted, his online profiles were deleted and there is very little trace left of him and his fantasy persona. SMH… I would ask what is wrong with people, but I don’t have it in me to empathize.

Lesson: People can be anyone they want to on the other side of technology. Before you engage in pleasantries, get verification that they are who they say they are.

Until next time… thank you all for your LoVe and support!

Goodbye Grudge!

This blog is about letting go… think of it like writing something out on paper and then lighting it on fire… the smoke disappears into the air as do the negative thoughts and feelings. I have to put the way I truly feel out into the open to acknowledge it before I can completely let go… trust it won’t be pretty, but it will be honest.

If you have followed me through the last couple of years and have read my blogs and such, then you are already aware of my “problem” areas. For those who haven’t I will do a little recap. There have been a few people come in and out of my life, one in particular that I can actually say I hate with every fiber of my being. With that said… it’s not healthy to hate. The time has come for me to let it go and move on with my life. The fact is, is that this person is a parasite on humanity, a sociopathic hemorrhoid on the ass of society… simply a wretched waste of flesh and oxygen. Knowing that though makes me question why I even waste my time letting them get under my skin. I find that this person is like a fungus that purposely tries to attach itself to the people in my life so it has a constant presence… that’s where some of the sociopathic tendencies come into play. So…  why let someone so repulsive affect my emotions?

While around this person I found that they were a negative, drama filled force and I hated the person that I was while with them. It’s amazing how someone can have SO much drama in their life and project it to make it seem like everyone else is the cause… I guess they flunked the 3rd grade math class where you learn about common denominators. The thing about me is that I absorb the emotions of the people around me… if there is stress, sadness, joy, love… I feel it all. I am very in tune to what’s going on around me and that can be a blessing and a curse.
It wasn’t until I left the situation that I saw what a vortex of drama they were. When you are able to remove yourself from a scenario where you are lead to believe that you are part of the problem and the problem continues to grow without you, it’s quite a relief. Outside of that circumstance I live my life relatively drama free, with the exception of a few hiccups along the way. I have little drama, they have an abundance… I hate that I took on their drama infested life and let it eat me inside… never again.

Now it’s one thing to owe me money and not pay me back because of financial struggle, but to not pay me back and flaunt your purchases around is a different story. This part I have already let go because I know I will never see a penny but the financial karma Goddess has already been set in motion and their life is going to stay in a state of financial misery with no light at the end of that broke, foreclosed tunnel. I still think it’s sad though that other people continue to get sucked into the scam. Oh well, people will learn and eventually there will be no more bridges to burn. You can only juggle with dynamite so long before one blows up in your face. Though it’s humorous to watch the vile creature try to spew out wisdom to the masses about haters and such knowing damn good and well that they are actually referring to themselves… who better to talk shit about people talking shit than a shit talker? LOL… pure ironic comedy!

In the end I have no regrets… I learned what I was meant to learn and I am now where I need to be. I’m happier now than I could’ve ever actually imagined. Do I wish bad things on them, no… do I wish them well, not exactly, I’m pretty much indifferent. Do I hope that one day I will catch them alone in a back alley or in front of me in a cross walk… a little bit, lol! My hope is that they will one day figure out what class truly means and slither back to their hole in their grimy part of the world. I do admit that at one point I was blind and truly cared for this individual… you can’t have hate unless you have once had love… but that fine line was crossed and the ugly boiled up inside of me.

With ALL of the amazing things I have in my life today, I simply don’t have time for ugly, hate or any negatives.  I have so much to be thankful for that harboring this resentment makes me feel ungrateful for the blessings I have been handed. So my end to this is to simply choose to let it all go. I hand it over to the universe and have faith that one day, probably not anytime soon, I will be able to be in the same room without the possibility of an altercation. The thing about life is that it is what you make of it through the choices you make. Today I choose to let go of the past and the things that hold me back. I choose to grow as a person and look forward to a brighter tomorrow. Our time here on earth is a short one so I’m gonna embrace life and live it to the fullest!

Let the flames of the universe burn the past and the wind of life carry away the tainted smoke. Breathe in the air of tomorrow and be filled with bliss… goodbye.

Porn Blog of the YEAR!

I am doing something a bit different here and for the first time am actually blogging about another blog!

My friend The Pussy Whisperer had sent me a link to his new blog “PORNOGRAPHY is like Quaker Oats ……“. I wasn’t sure what to expect by that title, maybe something in the messy realm, lol, but when I started reading I was more than impressed. From a brief history lesson on neanderthal porn to the realities of being a porn star, he has covered it all and made for a very interesting and enlightening read.

I encourage everyone to take a moment to visit his blog and take a look… remember to be polite and comment… comments make us happy! Enjoy!

http://beyondthecold.blogspot.com/2010/12/pornography-is-like-quaker-oats.html

LoVe Dystfunctionalfied!

I know dysfunctionalfied isn’t really a word, but it is what best describes the following poem that I had written for someone several years ago. It’s so funny to have found it after all this time and think about who it was written for. Though the relationship was a disaster, the feelings it brought forth were amazing and if I’m lucky, maybe one day, I will find a person worthy of feeling those feeling for again.

This poem was never really meant to be seen by anyone other than whom it was intended for, but I think it’s a good look at what make my LoVe so dysfunctional.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to find the words to express
Just how much I want to reach out to you and say yes
I have spent so much of my life alone
I could never see past the gray cyclone
My past was like a tornado destroying everything in its route
My heart was like the wreckage, damaged and full of doubt
Much like the ruins, I was lost as it seemed I’d never recover
No shelter from the pain, I was a child without a mother

It seemed like the clouds lingered for years
No one around that could hear my tears
I kept my emotions isolated from all the world around
I vowed to never again have my heart beat into the ground
They can take my body; they can cut me like a knife
But they will never take my soul; I guard it with my life
Who knew that one day the clouds would part and the sun would shine through
Who knew there was still hope and who knew I would find you
In a world with so much chaos and endless sorrow
I never would have thought I would look forward to tomorrow
You took me by surprise when you touched me so deep
You made me forget the hurt and made me want to leap
So here I am now so open and exposed
To you I promise to never be closed
I give you me, no more, no less
You have my apologies; I know I’m a mess

As you can see I am no poet, but my emotions are raw, which I actually find to be quite freeing. What really stands out to me now is how I came from such a dark place into the light, but when the light was gone I regressed right back to the tortured blackness. I’m not sure if I’m capable of “healthy” LoVe, but I hope that when the universe sends someone my way that it takes into consideration the metric fuck ton of patients he’ll need.

Audio Post – New Blogging Feature

I’m baaack… again, lol!

Hey everybody! I know it’s been a minute since my last blog and I apologize for that. I always say that I’m gonna be better and blog on a regular basis and then I get in a writing funk and fall off the face of the earth. For those of you who were kind enough to stick with me and check in on my blog regularly, even though I hadn’t updated, here is what I’ve been up to for the last several months…

In October I was in a not so good place, just broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend and was staying with a girlfriend until I figured out if I wanted to stay in LA or not. Around that time I had gotten hit up on twitter by Ms. Platinum Puzzy. At the time she hit me up there had been some drama surrounding a mutual acquaintance of ours and I wasn’t sure about how things were gonna go down, but I was like “what the hell” and met up with her despite all the hype.

Platinum made it to LA, we met October 12th and have been together, literally, since that day. We met initially to do a content shoot but as we spent time together we noticed that we had a ridiculous amount in common. We decided to travel, so… off we went on our tour so appropriately entitled the National Trampoons Hoe Adventures, lol! At first we stayed in the Los Angeles area and then headed up to Seattle. Seattle was awesome… I LoVe it there, I almost didn’t want to leave but the rain was too much. We left and headed back down south to Portland… more rain, lol! We finished up in Oregon and drove back down to LA for a brief minute then headed East to Florida for the Holidays.

We stayed in Jacksonville for a couple of months and plotted our next adventures. We didn’t want to do anymore traveling until the weather was better but we got cabin fever so decided to head South. We hit Orlando, Tampa and then Miami. While we were in Miami we shot a scene for PlumperPass and a scene for a newly started company… we also shot a few scenes for our sites with the talented Mr. Mark Anthony, LoVe him! After Miami we came back to Tampa to shoot with our friend Destiny BBW for the week which is where I sit now.

I have many, many stories to share about out trip, but in an effort to keep this blog from becoming a novel I am giving you the  quick rundown of where we’ve been an what we’re up to now. There will be plenty of blogs to follow, trust me, with us it’s always an adventure! Who knew I’d find my best friend, get to travel the U.S. (so far) and bring in 2010 with such a bang? I guess we never really know what life has in store for us do we! To wrap it up I’m gonna leave ya’ll with a few pics from our journey so far… and stayed tuned cause there is MUCH, MUCH more to come!

A caricature from Seattle’s Pike Street Market

80’s Throwback Desi and Officer Platinum on Halloween 2009

Mark Anthony about to nibble some Devine boob on set in Miami 03/10

Coming back!

It’s been quite some time since I posted a blog about what was going on with me, and for that I apologize. As many folks know, for the last 6 months or so I have been on somewhat of a hiatus. I took some time out to find myself and figure out who “I” really am. Though my journey has had many ups and downs I feel like it has been productive. I’m not quite sure if I am any closer to really finding me, but I’ve learned some lessons and I’m still alive… barely, lol!

Coming back really has several meanings for me. I’m not only coming back to the net or to the industry, but I’m coming back to the self I used to be. For many, many months I have been out of the social loop and I feel like I’ve missed so much. I know I’ve missed my friends, events and working… I can’t tell you the last time I took a picture. I have also missed the freedom of being able to do what I want and see who I want. To be who I want.

See for me the last 6 months has been more than a hiatus, it’s been like a prison. For the first time in my life I was involved with an alcoholic. When I met him I knew he drank but not to the extent that I would find later. I thought if I changed for him, quit the industry and was a good little house kitten that he would quit drinking and we would live happily ever after, man was I delusional! The cold hard truth is that no one will change unless they want to. People have to change for themselves, period. I’m no longer in that relationship, I’ve moved past it and I’m stronger for it.

SO… what’s in my future??? Well, I’m going to get back to work making movies and taking pictures. I’m still working on my talent agency, fun. I’m looking into doing some club promotion and attending a lot more events. I’m also wanting to start up a BBW phone sex line in January. I will be blogging a lot more about myself and the events that I will be attending, etc. I have a lot on my plate and can’t wait to get started!

In closing I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has supported me through this time. My friends and fans have really been a rock for me and if it wasn’t for you guys I wouldn’t have the drive and inspiration to get back to what I love, so thank you all… I LoVe you!

Go figure…

Is it just my imagination or do the laws of the universe really work against us? I have been looking back over the last 7 or so years and have come to discover that either my timing absolutely sucks or the universe is working against me. Now I can’t imagine that it’s all me, lol… totally kidding, it’s most likely all me… but I’d like to think that the universe has something to do with it.

It’s like when you want to have a nice lunch alone in a park and then an entire family plops down beside you on the bench… or when you make plans to go on a cruise and you come down flu the day before you’re supposed to leave. It happens when someone finds love… lol, you can be single for years upon years and once you are in love people from your past come out of the woodwork to be with you. For me I find that when I plan on focusing on work it’s slow and when I have things to do in my personal life, I’m overwhelmed with it.

I suppose at the end of the day life works out in the way it’s supposed to… maybe teaching us something we didn’t know we needed to learn. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, even if I don’t understand what the reasoning is. I would also like to think that I am in the driver’s seat of my own life but as time goes by I sometimes feel like I’m just along for the ride. Maybe my timing is off or maybe the universe is trying to tell me something that I’m not yet able to see.