Tag Archives: family

Merry Christmas!

I want to wish everyone around the World a very Merry Christmas, Happy: Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus and Holidays! May your day be filled with fond memories, love and laughter. This Christmas has given me so much, and I’m not speaking in terms of material items.

For many years I have been somewhat of a Grinch and had always done my best to avoid the Holidays due to my own personal reasons. This year a few select people have helped me to see that the Holidays, though not ideal, could be a wonderful time of celebration. I have always done my best to be grateful and appreciative for everyone and everything, but I think sometimes we all get a little lost in what we wish we had. When I pulled my head out my ass, I actually realized that what I have is even better than what I was stuck hoping for.

Today I am beyond grateful for my life, in all facets. I am thankful for every lesson, every gift, every second spent with loved ones and every day that I get to wake up and start anew. I am also beyond grateful that I am able to share my life and experiences with all of you! Much love this Holiday season!

God & The Sinner

I have never before spoken on the subject of religion, but as today is Christmas Eve, I found it fitting… I also got a message that struck up a rather interesting conversation. Most people seem to confuse me as an Atheist because I do not believe in organize religion… that is in fact inaccurate, I am not an Atheist. Atheist, by definition, is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings… I do not. I very much believe that there is a “God” or a supreme being.

My biggest issue with religion is that it is a man-made structure of belief. There are literally thousands of religions around the world and who to say which religion is “right”? As I see it, there are about 4 people going to Heaven, lol. Then there is the issue of the Bible, also written by man, which has been written and rewritten all based off of interpretations. Once as a kid, I read the Bible, cover to cover, and seemed to understand it very differently than the way most religions teach it. I also find that some of the biggest hypocrites on Earth can be found in churches all around the World.

If so many religions preach peace, why can they not live it and accomplish it? If religion preaches love and acceptance, why are people so full of hate and judgement? If religion teaches the importance of family and togetherness then why are there foster homes, retirement homes, homes for difficult teens, etc. No one takes care of their families anymore, we just shove them off for someone else to take of them because it makes our own lives easier… SMH.

The conversation that lit this fire for me is below…

Mike Leroy Jnr
Repent from fornication and immorality porn woman remember hell is real and your body is d temple of the lord – repent now before it too late christ is knocking

Desiree Devine
LMAO… thank you for the chuckle… I needed a good laugh today! Happy Holidays!

Mike Leroy Jnr
Its not funny you may ridicule the word today but don’t regret tommorrow a word is enough for the wise

Desiree Devine
I’m not the one ridiculing sweets, that would be you. I love and accept everyone for who they are. In fact, I have read the Bible, cover to cover, have you? The same “Lord” that you are referring to states that He does not call upon the righteous as it is the sinners who need repentance… he died for the sinners… ergo Jesus loves and will embrace me even as a sinner. The Bible also states very clearly, and I quote: MATTHEW 7:1-5:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

I am no fool. I understand better than you realize. So… please… do not worry about me and my ways as a sinner, but worry about your damnation as a hypocrite. All sins are equal in the eyes of God.


Now the gentleman has yet to respond to my last message, but I don’t assume he will. The thing about people like me who dispute religion is that we have to study more about religion than the people who claim to be religious. Funny how I have to be extensively educated about religion to dispute it, but you have to know zero about it to shove it down my throat and tell me that I shall be eternally damned. Again, SMH!

On that note, I wish coexisteveryone around the World the HAPPIEST of Holidays. May your days be filled with love and laughter!

Happy Thanksgiving 2010!

Another year has passed and there is SOOO much to be thankful for! I spent yesterday morning giving thanks on twitter… which I will paste my tweets here, in no particular order:

I am thankful for @shamelessangel and @hardtenent for being amazing webmasters and even better friends… I truly LoVe you guys!

I am thankful for @pussy_whisperer and @thealphapussy for renewing my faith in LoVe! They are proof that it still exists! ❤

I am thankful for @shannyaz & @ElJefe_GM for being such awesome friends and a huge support for me, especially during my move to AZ! LoVe you!

I am thankful for @pornlaw and people like him who take action and stand up for what’s right. One person CAN make a difference!

I am thankful for @ChristyLee75 and @ClubFullFilled for giving me a new direction and helping me find my passion again! #NewBeginnings

I’m thankful to all my sisters like @FarrahFoxx @DestinyBBW @DaphneDaniels @MsDawpP @DirtyLittleDiva & other BBWs 4 proving BIG is BEAUTIFUL

I am #thankful for @DreCostello for all the LoVe and support he has given me, proving good men still exist! ❤

I am #thankful for the amazing people @casagorditasd especially @BabyFace_GM @phreespirit @GrrrgeouBBW for being REAL & true to who they are!

I am #thankful for @Christianxxx1 and all those who are true to themselves regardless. I wish EVERYONE had the courage to do the same.

I have SO much to be #thankful for but MOSTLY I am #thankful for my fans and supporters who allow me to do what I LoVe to do! Thank you all!

I am #thankful for the @BBWnetwork @SanDiegoBBWBash & all the other events around the world that celebrate BBW’s and our admirers!

These are all people and things that I am thankful for, but I am also thankful for living in a country where I have the right to be me. I can, for the most part, live my life as I chose without fear of being stoned to death. God bless us for having the First Amendment… freedom of speech is a beautiful thing.

Last but not least, I am thankful for living another year and though it hasn’t necessarily been the easiest year, I have learned a lot about myself and life in general. I am thankful for seasons of change and the ability to see things in a whole new light. Sometimes it takes a storm to clear away the earth and make a new path.

Much LoVe to you and the important people in your life, may you cherish them today as tomorrow is never guaranteed. Happy Thanksgiving!

Another Year!

Well, today’s the day… I’m officially another year older! I’m actually looking forward to this birthday as crazy as it seems, since I haven’t been very thrilled about getting older, but I’m looking forward to being another year wiser and another year aged… like fine wine, not like spoiled milk, lol! I am seeing things in a more radiant light. I see LoVe on the horizon, I see success and stability in arms reach and I see my dreams becoming reality. For so long I held onto the past and let it hold me down, but when I let it all go, I rose to the top and could see everything so clearly. This isn’t just another year, this is another year that I have been given to learn and grow from.

So many things have happened and it would take me all night to tell you everything so I will sum it all up in one brief statement… God gave me life and I have lived it, maybe not up to everyone’s expectations, but I have been true to myself and I am blesses to be me! The things I have gone through and the struggles that I have overcome have brought me here, to this place of peace and happiness. For a very long time I searched for peace, but here in the hot state of Arizona, I think I’ve finally found it. I have been blessed with amazing friends, people who have stood by me for many years and loved me through it all… I have been blessed with a body that has the ability to heal, a heart that can be mended and soul that glows in the darkness. It doesn’t get much better than that folks!

I want to thank everyone who has stood by me, supported me and who has given me strength when I had none left. I want to thank every person that has come in and out of my life for allowing me to learn from each interaction… and I especially want to thank my close circle of friends, you should know who you all are, for guiding me through the dark hours when I wasn’t able to find my way. The one thing that I have learned over all else in the last years is to not take anything or anyone for granted and appreciate what you have because too soon it can all be taken away just like that, in the blink of an eye.

So in this next year, I am going to be making some big changes… make sure to stay tuned for the next blog post where I will be sharing all of my upcoming projects and aspirations. This blog will post at exactly 8:07am, the exact time I entered this world, and at that exact moment I will be dreaming about partying so hard that I forget who and where I am, lol! If you want to come party with me and help me celebrate my life check out the flyer below and email me at desiree@desireedevine.me with any additional questions!

Thank you in advance for all of the birthday wishes and I hope to see you for my bday bash on the 20th!    ~    XoXo, Desiree

These days…

These days it seems like I’m not doing much, but that’s about to change dramatically. I’ve kinda been in hiatus mode trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life, it seems that it was much needed hiatus. For all of you that follow me and my happenings, here’s a little update!

A few months ago I entered into a serious relationship… so serious in fact, I moved in with him. As most relationships go it seemed there had to be some compromising done and most of the compromise came on my end. Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that they are difficult as they are, imagine tossing in adult work into the equation. Much like a lot of other men I have dated, my new bo had an issue with me being a pornstar. I always said that I wouldn’t change who I was or what I did for anyone, they should accept me for who and what I am, but who was I kidding?

I realized that I’m not getting any younger and if I wanted my dream of settling down and having a family to come to fruition, I was gonna have to make some sacrifices. Being in a “normal” relationship has come with some challenges for me. I have had to hide who I am from his friends and family, stop making movies and my social life is pretty much non-existent. I’ve tried my best to be Suzy homemaker but it hasn’t been easy. I ask myself daily if I am making the right decisions for myself and I have come to realize I’m not.

The thing is is that I decided to cut myself off from the world thinking that that’s what he would want me to do, he didn’t ask me to become a recluse… I did that all on my own. After a couple months of being secluded I’ve decided that I’m a social butterfly and I need activity and people in my life. I want to work and be productive, just in a different way.

It has taken me a long time to build up my name and my status and I would hate to drop off the grid all together so I have decided to jump back into the adult world, but in a different role. Before my hiatus began, I was working on starting a BBW talent agency. I figure that all of the contacts that I’ve made and all of my own personal experience in porn would be put to good use with an agency. I am working on getting my license an on designing the website, which is the first site that I have designed in years. Since I’ve started working on the agency I feel like I have some life pumped back into me.

So there you have it folks, my life in a nutshell. In the future I plan on being a much better person, friend, agent and blogger. I plan on being very active in the adult industry and in the online world. Oh yeah… I adopted a new puppy! Here’s a pic… her name is Lily!



My day…

Today was kind of an odd day with many emotional ups and downs. I woke up a bit anxious and immediately started cleaning the kitchen. After finishing the kitchen it was time to get ready for my scene with Christian with a trip to the nail salon. I always LoVe going to the nail salon, the foot massages are my favorite! After getting pampered at the salon I had to rush back home to shower and make it to the set.

I was the first one to arrive on set, and I was late, I ended up waiting outside for about 20 mins before someone showed up to let me in. The make-up artist was a super cool chick, and again I LoVe hair and make-up because I feel pampered! The scene with Christian was amazing, as always… blog post to follow soon, but afterwords was kind of a downer.

After the scene, Christian drove me home and I was telling him about my recent break-up… lol, he told me to stop telling him the story because it was depressing. Since the break-up was so emotional for me it got me to thinking about my childhood, growing up in foster care still affects me today. I really started thinking about how sometimes we, as people, just want to be loved. I have no real family, my friends are my family, so sometimes I think I may have settled for less than I deserved out of pure loneliness.

I never thought I would admit that I was lonely or just wanted to be loved, but if I didn’t I wouldn’t be being honest. I’m just blessed for what I do have in my life and that is good friends and a GREAT job, lol!

Crazy people…

The thing about dealing with crazy people, and I’m talking about the truly insane, is that they don’t know they’re crazy! Even though I learned many years ago that trying to argue or even have a rational conversation with a crazy person is absolutely pointless, I sometimes get wrapped up in the moment. Not that I’m the most sane person roaming the planet, lol, let’s face it, I’m down right certifiable but the difference is that I can hold a descent conversation. The biggest issue seems to arise when crazy people have an alternate reality.

Now the best example of crazy that I have encountered is my mother and can I just say that dealing with someone who has MAJOR denial issues is uber frustrating! Most people already know that I went into foster care at a very young age and had a pretty strenuous almost non-existent relationship with my mother. As I got older we’ve talked more but have continued to have a very strenuous relationship. Recently I have been going through some pretty rough times in my personal life and in lieu of support my mother has decided to give me grief.

I try talking to her about the things she does and how it affects me but she is in such denial and is so immature that she yells and hangs up on me. She tells me to never call her again and that ‘I’ need to make amends to her but never once had apologized, or admitted to for that matter, for anything she put me though as a child. In her world I am wrong and as she says “You have nobody to blame but yourself and the genes you got from your dad…”! *Sigh* Now I’m the first one to fess up to my mistakes but c’mon… at least acknowledge the past as it really was, not the way you have made it up to be in your own head.

I dunno, maybe I’m asking for too much when it comes to dealing with the people in my family. Maybe this is why I’m so picky when it comes to letting people close to me, however I have made mistakes in that area too. We all have crazy people in our lives in some form or another… for sanity to exist there needs to be insanity to keep the balance.