Tag Archives: love

Merry Christmas!

I want to wish everyone around the World a very Merry Christmas, Happy: Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus and Holidays! May your day be filled with fond memories, love and laughter. This Christmas has given me so much, and I’m not speaking in terms of material items.

For many years I have been somewhat of a Grinch and had always done my best to avoid the Holidays due to my own personal reasons. This year a few select people have helped me to see that the Holidays, though not ideal, could be a wonderful time of celebration. I have always done my best to be grateful and appreciative for everyone and everything, but I think sometimes we all get a little lost in what we wish we had. When I pulled my head out my ass, I actually realized that what I have is even better than what I was stuck hoping for.

Today I am beyond grateful for my life, in all facets. I am thankful for every lesson, every gift, every second spent with loved ones and every day that I get to wake up and start anew. I am also beyond grateful that I am able to share my life and experiences with all of you! Much love this Holiday season!
merry_christmas_happy_holidays-wide

God & The Sinner

I have never before spoken on the subject of religion, but as today is Christmas Eve, I found it fitting… I also got a message that struck up a rather interesting conversation. Most people seem to confuse me as an Atheist because I do not believe in organize religion… that is in fact inaccurate, I am not an Atheist. Atheist, by definition, is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings… I do not. I very much believe that there is a “God” or a supreme being.

My biggest issue with religion is that it is a man-made structure of belief. There are literally thousands of religions around the world and who to say which religion is “right”? As I see it, there are about 4 people going to Heaven, lol. Then there is the issue of the Bible, also written by man, which has been written and rewritten all based off of interpretations. Once as a kid, I read the Bible, cover to cover, and seemed to understand it very differently than the way most religions teach it. I also find that some of the biggest hypocrites on Earth can be found in churches all around the World.

If so many religions preach peace, why can they not live it and accomplish it? If religion preaches love and acceptance, why are people so full of hate and judgement? If religion teaches the importance of family and togetherness then why are there foster homes, retirement homes, homes for difficult teens, etc. No one takes care of their families anymore, we just shove them off for someone else to take of them because it makes our own lives easier… SMH.

The conversation that lit this fire for me is below…

Mike Leroy Jnr
Repent from fornication and immorality porn woman remember hell is real and your body is d temple of the lord – repent now before it too late christ is knocking

Desiree Devine
LMAO… thank you for the chuckle… I needed a good laugh today! Happy Holidays!

Mike Leroy Jnr
Its not funny you may ridicule the word today but don’t regret tommorrow a word is enough for the wise

Desiree Devine
I’m not the one ridiculing sweets, that would be you. I love and accept everyone for who they are. In fact, I have read the Bible, cover to cover, have you? The same “Lord” that you are referring to states that He does not call upon the righteous as it is the sinners who need repentance… he died for the sinners… ergo Jesus loves and will embrace me even as a sinner. The Bible also states very clearly, and I quote: MATTHEW 7:1-5:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

I am no fool. I understand better than you realize. So… please… do not worry about me and my ways as a sinner, but worry about your damnation as a hypocrite. All sins are equal in the eyes of God.

Besos

Now the gentleman has yet to respond to my last message, but I don’t assume he will. The thing about people like me who dispute religion is that we have to study more about religion than the people who claim to be religious. Funny how I have to be extensively educated about religion to dispute it, but you have to know zero about it to shove it down my throat and tell me that I shall be eternally damned. Again, SMH!

On that note, I wish coexisteveryone around the World the HAPPIEST of Holidays. May your days be filled with love and laughter!

Know Me…

I’m the secret rendezvous
Never the public display
I’m the other woman
Never the only woman
I’m the good time
Never the long time
I’m the lusted
Never the loved

I am a survivor
Never a victim
I am charitable
Never selfish
I am loyal
Never dishonest
I am valuable
Never expendable

Some say shameless whore
I say lucrative business woman
Some say barren harlot
I say healthy butterfly
Some say damaged
I say insightful
Some say licentious
I say liberated

Everyone will assess me
Most will judge me
Some will tolerate me
Few will accept me

It only takes one to love me.

Dating Disasters: “FB Busted”

So my recent experience was kind of a doozy. I had met a man who it had seemed I was meant to meet… I mean I was certain it was Kismet. To give you a little back story… I have  private and personal Facebook profile that I only add my close friends and family to. Several years ago, 4+ maybe, I had added a guy who I had known of, but we had never actually met even though we have many friends in the same circle. A couple of months ago I went through my friends list and unfriended everyone that I hadn’t met in person. So even though we ran in the same circles, because of travel and whatnot, our paths never crossed and I unfriended him.

Approximately 6 or so weeks ago, myself and several of my girlfriends went out to a local restaurant called Blueberry Hill after the club for some drunken dinner. Since I was the designated driver I was sober and sitting at the table listening to the drunken rambling when I saw a man walk in accompanied by a lady, who I had assumed was his girlfriend. When I saw him I actually said out loud “Is that _______?” I will refer to him as DA for future reference. So as I’m sitting there wondering if that had been my long time FB buddy, I saw him keep looking back at me like he recognized me as well. I still didn’t want to say anything as to not disrespect that lady he was with. As we were wrapping up and standing up to leave, I bent down to get my purse and when I stood up he was standing behind me and said “Are you Desiree?” I responded, “Are you D?” he said yes, took my number and that’s where it all began.

For the following weeks it had seemed like a warm, fuzzy dream. I loved spending time with him… I absolutely adored him. Just being around him brought me a certain peace and happiness that I hadn’t experienced in a VERY long time. I adored him and he claimed to be fond of me as well. I opened up to him telling him things I am reluctant to share with most people. I have a troubled past and it often causes complications for me in my relationships, but I was determined to make a conscious effort to overcome my issues.

Being as it was, DA is a very talented cartoonist and I had asked him to help with BBWFFlogoa project and in turn I would help him with some of his professional needs. He drew an amazing logo for the BBW FanFest and I was so impressed and thankful that I was motivated and inspired to go above and beyond to help him be successful in his work. Needless to say I ended up investing a lot more than I got in return. HOWEVER… the logo is amazing as you can see for yourself!

Now you can imagine with pretty much everything being amazing between us how utterly baffled I was to get a friend request from his GIRLFRIEND on FB. I mean REALLY? He had stayed nights and full days at my house… but when I looked at her profile, her profile picture was a picture of them together and there was this post and I quote: “Lions and Texans game has brought me quite a bit of entertainment while working on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day. Everyday I am thankful to have a job, i’m healthy, and I can go home everyday to the man I Love ____DA____”! Wow… the balls on this guy… Godzilla doesn’t have that amount of balls. It’s so crazy that he hid the fact that he LIVED with a woman so well. I was on his FB everyday and there was NO indication that he had a gf or anything.

The best part of this is when I asked him who she was and told him I was out, he got mad at ME! He asked me why I questioned who she was and said that since we weren’t in a committed relationship that it was none of my business who he lived with. LOL… this muthafucka here boy, I tell you WOOW! He had the audacity to mock my feelings and tell me “I’m sorry I hurt you so bad since you thought you were gonna marry me!” REALLY asshole? Yup, I was hurt… Yup, I felt betrayed… Yup, I let my emotions get the best of me… BUT regardless of how I feel… YOU sir are a liar and a douchebag! He continued by telling me that even if he was single he never had any intention of being in any kind of relationship with me due to my line of work. It’s funny how I was the best thing since sliced bread until you get caught in your own deception and then try to turn it around on me.

Needless to say our brief encounter came to an abrupt halt. I sent this kind assholegentleman this well deserved merit badge and applauded him for being a real class act. I told him not to worry I wouldn’t tell his gf about his douchebaggery and we could just pretend that we never ran into each other and go on with our lives as they were. I guess at this point in my life I am just over it. I will never understand why people don’t have the ability to be honest. My personal belief is that if you’re honest in the beginning then there will be no problems in the end… I guess that’s not a widespread belief. Some people can’t help but leave a trail of emotional destruction and I’m not gonna feel bad like I made it that easy to walk in and out of my life. This time it was him, not me. Deuces!

Click here to listen to this blog narrated by me!

Dating Disasters: “D” Bag

Installment 2 of the “Dating Disasters” series is brought to you by my good friend Platinum Puzzy! This one is going to be a fickle tale of flattery FAIL! Enjoy…

As far as my dating disasters go back, MANY MANY moons ago, “D” was one of the VERY first heart breaks and dose of dating reality I would ever encounter.  We met through mutual friends at a BBQ.  I was invited by my friend Stacy, he was invited by her husband Richard.  He first caught my eye when I was a pouring drink for myself, waiting for the Tyson fight to come on.  He was attractive, nice smile, smelled VERY good and was very laid back.  Our eyes kept meeting, it was apparent he had expressed some interest in me as well and eventually I had enough drinks to get up the courage to accidentally bump into him and begin a conversation.

We exchanged numbers, made small talk and eventually parted ways and finishing the night apart.  I didn’t give him much more thought for the next few days and finally he called.  We talked for hours, sharing life stories, what we want and don’t want and eventually geared towards a conversation about dating.  Of course, the first things we got out the way were our relationship status, kids, etc.  He says he is single, and so am I and that was that.  We both agreed that we were looking for something “casual” but with the open option for whatever we both may be up for.

A few more conversations were exchanged, and finally he asked me out on a date.  IT WAS ABOUT TIME.  The first date was great, he said and did all the right things.  We ended with a romantic kiss, butterflies in my stomach and all.  I went to bed dreaming of what a wonderful time we had, and anticipated his next call.

The first month of our “dating” experience was like something out of a storybook.  He called frequently, came and saw me regularly and maintained as if I was the only one.  Then the pieces started falling apart and the questions poured in.

Month 2 of our “relationship” or so I thought, we spent a lot of time arguing.  I would question his absence, he would make up detailed lies to cover his tracks.  I am a collections rep and detective by nature, and if I want to find the truth I will.  Eventually the truth would find me.

It came during a time when things “seemed” to be normal, and I was beginning to just accept that maybe the turbulence of relationships past were haunting my emotions.  He had convinced me that I was just nervous and to relax.  Then, the drama ensued.

I was at work, anticipating my lunch date I had with “D” with only 30 minutes to go and I get a call.  Hello, is this “Kari?” from a strange number and a strange female voice.  I replied, “yes it is, how can I help you?”  She went on to tell me that she knew about me, knows I’ve been spending time with “her man” and that she is now informing me that it was over.  Silence overcame me, and I couldn’t fix my mouth to even respond.  Those butterflies in my stomach turned to a knot and had me ready to vomit.

I didn’t divulge any information until I found WHO she was and if she was REALLY who she said she was.  I was going to get answers before digging a hole and giving into her.  I told her I had to go, finish working and that I appreciate her call, and proceeded to hang up on her.  It was almost lunch time and I was meeting the VERY person I wanted to confront in just minutes.

The time to clock out DRAGGED and seemed like HOURS more than minutes.  FINALLY, it was that time, and I ran out of there faster than Flo Jo.  I pulled up to the restaurant where we were having lunch, and didn’t see his car so I went in, got us a table and waited for him to come.  After 5 minutes passed, and this is unusual for him I decided to call and find out where he was.  He didn’t answer, and at this point I knew something just wasn’t adding up.  I was going to give him a few more minutes and if I didn’t hear from him, it was time to bounce and go get something to eat and head back to work.

Quarter after, I am grabbing my pocket-book and getting ready to leave when he comes storming in and tells me to sit down.  His voice was angry, and he was a bit forceful.  I already have an attitude, and look at him like “Are you crazy or just stupid?”  but sit down to obtain answers to what in the sam hell is going on.

The FIRST thing that comes out of his mouth is “What did you tell her?” ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hell nah!  Needless to say, I didn’t eat lunch and he wasn’t trying to do anything but demand answers himself.  I explained what happened, and that I didn’t share anything and began interrogating as to who she was to him and why was he worried about her calling me.

I could NEVER be prepared for the answers.  WIFE?  You are married?  You have KIDS?  You told me you didn’t have kids!  Oh hell no… Here I was dating someone who wasn’t even AVAILABLE.  Luckily for me, the answers came before any real feelings developed and I was able to break it off before I was TOO hurt about it.

What is funny about this situation, when they finally divorced a couple of years later he had the BALLS to hit me up and ask if I would be interested in dating him again.

>>>>>>>>>>>>> YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!  ABSOLUTELY NOT <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

And that was one of my VERY first dating disasters.  Had be been honest, I would’ve at least had the option to deal with this or decline.  I wouldn’t have because the last thing I was to be is #2 on someone’s list of priorities and if shit falls through the “other” woman is ALWAYS left with nothing but empty hands. End of story.

Dating Disasters, A New Series!

So I have come up with the idea to put out a new blog series that highlights the personal dating disasters of myself and my close friends. The funny thing about this series will be that MOST people will be able to relate. Shit, maybe it can even be a helpful guide for the fellas on WHAT NOT TO DO while dating! LOL

Now I want to be clear that this is not a “Man Bashing” event. I will be the first one to admit that I am emotionally retarded. When it comes to dealing with emotions I panic. I don’t panic in a good way either… it’s the kind of running around aimlessly while screaming and begging for death kinda inner panic. So I am in no position to judge anyone, HOWEVER, I do know that  everyone wants to feel special and not be taken for granted.

So… let’s get started! After much consideration, I have decided to keep the names of the individuals private, though I would have loved to put them all on blast for my own personal amusement, but I need to be the bigger person, no pun intended, lol!

I am going to start out with the “Fantasy Stripper” disaster. This experience is precisely why I DO NOT enjoy online dating. A friend convinced me that I HAD to try online dating since I don’t go out a lot anymore… so I did. I set up a profile, which was active for less than 72 hours, with a random user name and basic phone cam pics. I immediately started getting the slew of pervs that I’m certain copy and paste the SAME message to every woman on the site. I started going through messages and saw a few that I figured I’d respond to and there happened to be one who stated that he was a male stripper moving to Vegas in a couple of weeks. Now I have dated male strippers in the past because it just seems like it’s easier when it comes to understanding each others professions, but truthfully I prefer not to… but I figured WTH! So we exchanged a few messages online and began texting.

Texting back and forth went on for a few days, then… there was the first phone call. He called me and what I had imagined he would sound like was totally off. I didn’t really give it much thought because we actually had a pretty good conversation about industry stuff and whatnot, he seemed very down to earth and humble, which I was into! I got off the phone before any kind of sex talk ensued and we picked up texting again. I’m not really the kind of person that likes to do a lot of corresponding via technology, I like to meet face to face to see if there is any chemistry. If there is no chemistry we are both just wasting our time. Since he stated that he was moving to Vegas from LA, he said he was staying at the Palms until he found a place. One day I was heading to the strip for some business and asked him if he wanted to meet up… he said he was in LA. At that moment I questioned him since he had just told me around 4am that he was getting back to his room at the Palms.

I decided to do a little investigating and typed his phone number into Facebook, lol… imagine my dismay when some random, engaged, donut shop worker from Salina, KS popped up! Needless to say I was FURIOUS. I understand people wanting to live out their fantasies but COME THE FUCK ON… WHY did you just waste several days of my time PRETENDING to be someone you’re not? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It just happened that he had his fiance linked to his profile so I commenced to send her an elaborate message about what he man does in his spare time. It may seem a little drastic, but dude deserved it.

← Guy I THOUGHT I was talking to…

Kolby Edwards

            Guy I was ACTUALLY talking to… →

I said what I had to say to the douche and told him that I had sent his fiance a long message. I didn’t hear back from him for a while but when he finally responded he begged me to not say anything to her, but it was too late. I told him his actions have consequences and that was that until later in the night when he text me “Is she mad?”… LMFAO, REALLY? You’re asking ME if YOUR fiance is mad at YOU? I told him I was done with him and haven’t heard a peep since.

The girlfriend never responded to me, but a few days later I checked and both of their Facebook pages were deleted, his online profiles were deleted and there is very little trace left of him and his fantasy persona. SMH… I would ask what is wrong with people, but I don’t have it in me to empathize.

Lesson: People can be anyone they want to on the other side of technology. Before you engage in pleasantries, get verification that they are who they say they are.

Until next time… thank you all for your LoVe and support!

Free To Be Me!

A quick update: Well  I’m a couple of months settled into my place here and Vegas and as of now, it’s the best move I could’ve made! Not only have I gotten back to living a life I love, I have gotten back to WORK… lol! I still need to get to shooting again and start working on webcam more, but I’m definitely staying busy with traveling and private sessions. I gotta say… I LoVe my life!

As of lately everything has been going so well and I have been so happy I had almost all but forgotten about all the folks around the world that don’t exactly approve of my lifestyle and chosen profession. Today I received a text about how God disapproves of my sexual sin and need to find my way back into His grace before the end of days. My response to that… no response at all. Look… to all the Bible thumping Jesus freaks who think it’s their job to judge, you too are committing sin. I’m not sure why religious people seem to know less about the written word than us mere sinners, but it clearly states that no one sin is greater than the other. So if my sin is being a whore and your sin is judging me for it… then by the standards of YOUR God, we are both condemned to the depths of hell. I am by NO standards religious, in fact I actually disdain organized religion, but I am spiritual and believe that our existence is too perfect to have been by chance. However in MY world, I imagine the God that everyone speaks of is kind, accepting and ultimately forgiving.

I figure that if my family and friends know what I do and I can live with the opinions of the people who REALLY matter to me, everyone else’s opinion is irrelevant. As long as I can live with my choices knowing that I am not hurting anyone and can sleep with a clear conscience… I am free to be me, without regret. I may not live a conventional life, but I’m also not the kind of person that would be happy living in a box. My world is vast and amazing. I have been places that I never thought I would go, met people who I NEVER thought I would meet and have been able to do things, for myself and others, that I would have otherwise never been able to do.

The best part of being me is that I don’t judge and I don’t make people feel bad about who they are or how they live. I figure if you are not causing pain or drama then be exactly who you want to be. I have a picture hanging on my wall that says “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” and every day I read it and think “There’s no one else I’d rather be!” I may not be perfect but dammit, I’m pretty fuckin awesome! I urge you to live outside the box, be unique and don’t listen to those who throw stones. You only get one life and it’s up to you to live it to its fullest potential. If you’re looking for happiness, look inside yourself and make a choice to make a change. What’s right for you may not be what’s right for everyone else but that doesn’t make it wrong.

As always, thank you for the continued love and support! (✿◠‿◠)

Sin City Radio!

So last Sunday night I got the awesome privilege of going on the radio here in Las Vegas with the super fabulous women of The Curvaceous Bounty of Sin City! I can’t possibly begin to tell you how much fun I had… I seriously laughed so hard at points I almost piddled my pants… the broads a HE-FUCKING-LARIOUS I tell you! I am going to post the link so you too can piddle in your pants and get to know me a little bit better!

Click here to watch my interview on Ustream!

Fuckin’ Perfect!

Lately I have been going through somewhat of a slump. The change of coming off the road and trying to settle down in a new place has not been an easy one for me. I miss the constant go and the new adventures. I miss the freedom of not being attached to a lease and being free to up and go on a whim… and mostly, I miss the company. When you live in one place, people have routines and lives that absorb their time and the excitement of hanging out, though it’s always awesome, tends to wear off a bit.

However, the BEST thing about being in THIS place is the AMAZING friends I have here. I have great old friends and have gained some phenomenal new ones as well. Though this is a huge change for me and is taking some getting used to, I don’t think I would have it any other way.

During my little funk I realized how fucking spectacular my friends really were when one posted this song on my Facebook. Have you ever heard a song that you could have sworn was written JUST for you? Well this one is ours. SO… I want to share this with ALL of my amazing friends and let you know that you are nothing less than fucking perfect… period… and when you’re lost and you have forgotten how spectacular you are, just have another listen!

Here are the lyrics:

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss “no way it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I’m still around…

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me

You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you do the same

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me

The world stares while i swallow the fear
The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we try, try, try
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, fuckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you’re fuckin’ perfect, to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you’re fucking perfect to me

Goodbye Grudge!

This blog is about letting go… think of it like writing something out on paper and then lighting it on fire… the smoke disappears into the air as do the negative thoughts and feelings. I have to put the way I truly feel out into the open to acknowledge it before I can completely let go… trust it won’t be pretty, but it will be honest.

If you have followed me through the last couple of years and have read my blogs and such, then you are already aware of my “problem” areas. For those who haven’t I will do a little recap. There have been a few people come in and out of my life, one in particular that I can actually say I hate with every fiber of my being. With that said… it’s not healthy to hate. The time has come for me to let it go and move on with my life. The fact is, is that this person is a parasite on humanity, a sociopathic hemorrhoid on the ass of society… simply a wretched waste of flesh and oxygen. Knowing that though makes me question why I even waste my time letting them get under my skin. I find that this person is like a fungus that purposely tries to attach itself to the people in my life so it has a constant presence… that’s where some of the sociopathic tendencies come into play. So…  why let someone so repulsive affect my emotions?

While around this person I found that they were a negative, drama filled force and I hated the person that I was while with them. It’s amazing how someone can have SO much drama in their life and project it to make it seem like everyone else is the cause… I guess they flunked the 3rd grade math class where you learn about common denominators. The thing about me is that I absorb the emotions of the people around me… if there is stress, sadness, joy, love… I feel it all. I am very in tune to what’s going on around me and that can be a blessing and a curse.
It wasn’t until I left the situation that I saw what a vortex of drama they were. When you are able to remove yourself from a scenario where you are lead to believe that you are part of the problem and the problem continues to grow without you, it’s quite a relief. Outside of that circumstance I live my life relatively drama free, with the exception of a few hiccups along the way. I have little drama, they have an abundance… I hate that I took on their drama infested life and let it eat me inside… never again.

Now it’s one thing to owe me money and not pay me back because of financial struggle, but to not pay me back and flaunt your purchases around is a different story. This part I have already let go because I know I will never see a penny but the financial karma Goddess has already been set in motion and their life is going to stay in a state of financial misery with no light at the end of that broke, foreclosed tunnel. I still think it’s sad though that other people continue to get sucked into the scam. Oh well, people will learn and eventually there will be no more bridges to burn. You can only juggle with dynamite so long before one blows up in your face. Though it’s humorous to watch the vile creature try to spew out wisdom to the masses about haters and such knowing damn good and well that they are actually referring to themselves… who better to talk shit about people talking shit than a shit talker? LOL… pure ironic comedy!

In the end I have no regrets… I learned what I was meant to learn and I am now where I need to be. I’m happier now than I could’ve ever actually imagined. Do I wish bad things on them, no… do I wish them well, not exactly, I’m pretty much indifferent. Do I hope that one day I will catch them alone in a back alley or in front of me in a cross walk… a little bit, lol! My hope is that they will one day figure out what class truly means and slither back to their hole in their grimy part of the world. I do admit that at one point I was blind and truly cared for this individual… you can’t have hate unless you have once had love… but that fine line was crossed and the ugly boiled up inside of me.

With ALL of the amazing things I have in my life today, I simply don’t have time for ugly, hate or any negatives.  I have so much to be thankful for that harboring this resentment makes me feel ungrateful for the blessings I have been handed. So my end to this is to simply choose to let it all go. I hand it over to the universe and have faith that one day, probably not anytime soon, I will be able to be in the same room without the possibility of an altercation. The thing about life is that it is what you make of it through the choices you make. Today I choose to let go of the past and the things that hold me back. I choose to grow as a person and look forward to a brighter tomorrow. Our time here on earth is a short one so I’m gonna embrace life and live it to the fullest!

Let the flames of the universe burn the past and the wind of life carry away the tainted smoke. Breathe in the air of tomorrow and be filled with bliss… goodbye.