Tag Archives: moving on

Dating Disasters: “FB Busted”

So my recent experience was kind of a doozy. I had met a man who it had seemed I was meant to meet… I mean I was certain it was Kismet. To give you a little back story… I have  private and personal Facebook profile that I only add my close friends and family to. Several years ago, 4+ maybe, I had added a guy who I had known of, but we had never actually met even though we have many friends in the same circle. A couple of months ago I went through my friends list and unfriended everyone that I hadn’t met in person. So even though we ran in the same circles, because of travel and whatnot, our paths never crossed and I unfriended him.

Approximately 6 or so weeks ago, myself and several of my girlfriends went out to a local restaurant called Blueberry Hill after the club for some drunken dinner. Since I was the designated driver I was sober and sitting at the table listening to the drunken rambling when I saw a man walk in accompanied by a lady, who I had assumed was his girlfriend. When I saw him I actually said out loud “Is that _______?” I will refer to him as DA for future reference. So as I’m sitting there wondering if that had been my long time FB buddy, I saw him keep looking back at me like he recognized me as well. I still didn’t want to say anything as to not disrespect that lady he was with. As we were wrapping up and standing up to leave, I bent down to get my purse and when I stood up he was standing behind me and said “Are you Desiree?” I responded, “Are you D?” he said yes, took my number and that’s where it all began.

For the following weeks it had seemed like a warm, fuzzy dream. I loved spending time with him… I absolutely adored him. Just being around him brought me a certain peace and happiness that I hadn’t experienced in a VERY long time. I adored him and he claimed to be fond of me as well. I opened up to him telling him things I am reluctant to share with most people. I have a troubled past and it often causes complications for me in my relationships, but I was determined to make a conscious effort to overcome my issues.

Being as it was, DA is a very talented cartoonist and I had asked him to help with BBWFFlogoa project and in turn I would help him with some of his professional needs. He drew an amazing logo for the BBW FanFest and I was so impressed and thankful that I was motivated and inspired to go above and beyond to help him be successful in his work. Needless to say I ended up investing a lot more than I got in return. HOWEVER… the logo is amazing as you can see for yourself!

Now you can imagine with pretty much everything being amazing between us how utterly baffled I was to get a friend request from his GIRLFRIEND on FB. I mean REALLY? He had stayed nights and full days at my house… but when I looked at her profile, her profile picture was a picture of them together and there was this post and I quote: “Lions and Texans game has brought me quite a bit of entertainment while working on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day. Everyday I am thankful to have a job, i’m healthy, and I can go home everyday to the man I Love ____DA____”! Wow… the balls on this guy… Godzilla doesn’t have that amount of balls. It’s so crazy that he hid the fact that he LIVED with a woman so well. I was on his FB everyday and there was NO indication that he had a gf or anything.

The best part of this is when I asked him who she was and told him I was out, he got mad at ME! He asked me why I questioned who she was and said that since we weren’t in a committed relationship that it was none of my business who he lived with. LOL… this muthafucka here boy, I tell you WOOW! He had the audacity to mock my feelings and tell me “I’m sorry I hurt you so bad since you thought you were gonna marry me!” REALLY asshole? Yup, I was hurt… Yup, I felt betrayed… Yup, I let my emotions get the best of me… BUT regardless of how I feel… YOU sir are a liar and a douchebag! He continued by telling me that even if he was single he never had any intention of being in any kind of relationship with me due to my line of work. It’s funny how I was the best thing since sliced bread until you get caught in your own deception and then try to turn it around on me.

Needless to say our brief encounter came to an abrupt halt. I sent this kind assholegentleman this well deserved merit badge and applauded him for being a real class act. I told him not to worry I wouldn’t tell his gf about his douchebaggery and we could just pretend that we never ran into each other and go on with our lives as they were. I guess at this point in my life I am just over it. I will never understand why people don’t have the ability to be honest. My personal belief is that if you’re honest in the beginning then there will be no problems in the end… I guess that’s not a widespread belief. Some people can’t help but leave a trail of emotional destruction and I’m not gonna feel bad like I made it that easy to walk in and out of my life. This time it was him, not me. Deuces!

Click here to listen to this blog narrated by me!

Thanks isn’t enough!

This blog is far overdue and for that I sincerely apologize. So much has happened since my last entry, it will take several follow-up blogs to tell you everything, but for now I just want to get to the most important update. This is a follow-up to my last blog, In a time of need…

Both Platinum and I would like to thank those who lent a helping hand, whether it was $5 or $300, every cent mattered. We were overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends and fans. We were able to move into a new home and acquire some of the basic necessities. We also appreciate everyone who donated household items to help us get started! There is no “Thank you!” big enough to express how grateful we are. We are blessed to have each and every person in our lives.

It has been a month since we moved into our new condo and I must say it is AMAZING! We were able to do some very inexpensive decorating and it feels just like home. It’s warm and full of life, but mostly SAFE. We live in a MUCH better, gated and secured community. LUCKILY, the rotten thieves didn’t steal my cupcake kitchen decor and it all fits perfectly in our new kitchen! Below you will find a couple of pics of our new place!

The only downside to our place is that the floors are bamboo throughout and the ceilings are high and vaulted so it makes quite an acoustic environment. When I say you can hear everything, I mean EVERYTHING! If a fly farts it echoes! When the vibrators are on it sounds like chainsaws and lawn mowers… don’t even get me started on hearing each other having sex, lol! I think our next project is to sound proof the bedrooms! Oh… and we a ghost, but it’s cool until it starts making messes!

Again, thank you ALL for your love and support. ❤

In a time of need…

I would like to begin by stating my apologies in advance. This blog has taken me over a week of thought and has proven one of the most difficult things I have ever had to write. This is going to be the first time in my entire career that I am going to open up and ask for a very personal favor. If you have gotten to know me throughout the last few years, or are just now learning me, you will find that I am very proud and very driven. I try my best to keep my personal life private and that includes my personal tragedies. I will warn you now, if you’re not up for some in-depth reading, you might want to turn back.

This has been a very tough yet fulfilling year for me in many ways. I have been cancer free for a little over a year now, I have rekindled a relationship that I had feared lost forever, I was part of a very successful ground breaking event and I have relocated to Las Vegas in hopes of pursuing my long time goals and passions. Upon moving to Vegas I was not familiar with the city beyond the infamous Strip. Though I had traveled to Vegas many times in the past I’d never ventured out much past downtown. Unfortunately while looking for a residence we didn’t take the time to really research the areas and based our search off of online searches and floor plans… we REALLY should’ve paid more attention to the reviews. Anywho… we got into an apartment that seemed like a good deal since it was just going to be temporary. Needless to say, it was HELL.

As usual, I travel a lot, as does my roommate and our other, newly acquired, roommate. Myself and Platinum headed to the East Coast for an impromptu tour after BBW FanFest and Jezebel headed to LA for a visit with her mom. We all ended up being gone for much longer than anticipated, but after being gone a month Jezebel returned and everything seemed fine. It wasn’t until she was away at her boyfriend’s that our apartment was broken into, they kicked in the front door, and we were cleaned out. Luckily, Jezebel kept most everything at her bf’s, but I wasn’t so lucky. Everything I am left with pretty much consists of a bed frame, dresser and a desk. It would take me awhile to list everything they took, but I can tell you the even took the food out of the freezer. I was shocked to find that they took all of my clothes as I am MUCH bigger than the average woman, lol, I mean really, who is gonna fit into them?

So without going into a complete sob story of how this event has devastated me in particularly, I will just say that after growing up in foster care and not having much, I take it especially hard when people steal from me… not to mention the breach of my personal and private space. The hardest part has been how nonchalant the apartment management has been and how they have shown zero concern about our safety… NOT TO MENTION how they are trying to fuck us with the renter’s insurance. It seems as the property has changed management since we have been there and through the transition had let the insurance lapse. Mind you they NEVER gave us notice of this cancellation NOR did they stop accepting our money every month to cover it. They are not making it easy on us for sure and we are the victim’s. At this point it looks as though we will need to acquire an attorney and sue them for our loss.

As we cannot possibly stay there any longer we will need to find a new, safe, place to live and replace everything that we lost out-of-pocket. I cannot tell you that this event could NOT have taken place at a worse time for us financially as we have invested most of our personal funds into future business ventures. We have worked SO insanely hard over the last 6+ months to procure new ventures and have done some intense networking in hopes of making some long time dreams become reality.

These kind of things are never easy to deal with but we are doing our best to deal with the situation and stay positive and motivated. Even though it was not how we had hoped to do it, this has pushed us into moving into a better more secure place so we can focus on all of the amazing things we have in the works.

So… without making you read anymore and turning this into a novel I will do what has been so difficult for me and get to the point. We are asking for those who can, to lend a hand in our time of need. We have lost pretty much everything and without insurance money starting over isn’t going to be easy. We are working on covering our moving costs and getting the essentials, we can build the rest over time. We’re not asking for a handout, we have thank you gifts for those who can help out and I will list them below. I will also add a link to our site where you can donate using your credit card though a secure processor. We will also be working on updating our Amazon wish lists and you can also donate using Greendot or gift cards to places like Walmart, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond etc.! If you live in Vegas and have mattresses or any other furniture or household items you would like to donate, please shoot me an email!

We can’t thank you enough for your support and generosity in this time of need. To show our gratitude, below is a list of gifts we are offering for your donation. Please accept our humble thanks as we embark on our next chapter.

$20 & ↑ – Personalized phone call from both Desiree & Platinum
$50 & ↑ – Call + Membership to both DesireeDevine.com & PlatinumPuzzy.com
$100 & ↑ – Call + Memberships + Autographed DVD
$300 & ↑ – Call + Memberships + DVD + Custom video

To donate via credit card please visit BonaFideEnterprises.com
To donate using Greendot or other gift cards please email desireedevine@gmail.com
Desiree’s Amazon wish list
Platinum’s Amazon wish list

As always, thank you for your continued LoVe and support!
XoXo, Desi

Goodbye Grudge!

This blog is about letting go… think of it like writing something out on paper and then lighting it on fire… the smoke disappears into the air as do the negative thoughts and feelings. I have to put the way I truly feel out into the open to acknowledge it before I can completely let go… trust it won’t be pretty, but it will be honest.

If you have followed me through the last couple of years and have read my blogs and such, then you are already aware of my “problem” areas. For those who haven’t I will do a little recap. There have been a few people come in and out of my life, one in particular that I can actually say I hate with every fiber of my being. With that said… it’s not healthy to hate. The time has come for me to let it go and move on with my life. The fact is, is that this person is a parasite on humanity, a sociopathic hemorrhoid on the ass of society… simply a wretched waste of flesh and oxygen. Knowing that though makes me question why I even waste my time letting them get under my skin. I find that this person is like a fungus that purposely tries to attach itself to the people in my life so it has a constant presence… that’s where some of the sociopathic tendencies come into play. So…  why let someone so repulsive affect my emotions?

While around this person I found that they were a negative, drama filled force and I hated the person that I was while with them. It’s amazing how someone can have SO much drama in their life and project it to make it seem like everyone else is the cause… I guess they flunked the 3rd grade math class where you learn about common denominators. The thing about me is that I absorb the emotions of the people around me… if there is stress, sadness, joy, love… I feel it all. I am very in tune to what’s going on around me and that can be a blessing and a curse.
It wasn’t until I left the situation that I saw what a vortex of drama they were. When you are able to remove yourself from a scenario where you are lead to believe that you are part of the problem and the problem continues to grow without you, it’s quite a relief. Outside of that circumstance I live my life relatively drama free, with the exception of a few hiccups along the way. I have little drama, they have an abundance… I hate that I took on their drama infested life and let it eat me inside… never again.

Now it’s one thing to owe me money and not pay me back because of financial struggle, but to not pay me back and flaunt your purchases around is a different story. This part I have already let go because I know I will never see a penny but the financial karma Goddess has already been set in motion and their life is going to stay in a state of financial misery with no light at the end of that broke, foreclosed tunnel. I still think it’s sad though that other people continue to get sucked into the scam. Oh well, people will learn and eventually there will be no more bridges to burn. You can only juggle with dynamite so long before one blows up in your face. Though it’s humorous to watch the vile creature try to spew out wisdom to the masses about haters and such knowing damn good and well that they are actually referring to themselves… who better to talk shit about people talking shit than a shit talker? LOL… pure ironic comedy!

In the end I have no regrets… I learned what I was meant to learn and I am now where I need to be. I’m happier now than I could’ve ever actually imagined. Do I wish bad things on them, no… do I wish them well, not exactly, I’m pretty much indifferent. Do I hope that one day I will catch them alone in a back alley or in front of me in a cross walk… a little bit, lol! My hope is that they will one day figure out what class truly means and slither back to their hole in their grimy part of the world. I do admit that at one point I was blind and truly cared for this individual… you can’t have hate unless you have once had love… but that fine line was crossed and the ugly boiled up inside of me.

With ALL of the amazing things I have in my life today, I simply don’t have time for ugly, hate or any negatives.  I have so much to be thankful for that harboring this resentment makes me feel ungrateful for the blessings I have been handed. So my end to this is to simply choose to let it all go. I hand it over to the universe and have faith that one day, probably not anytime soon, I will be able to be in the same room without the possibility of an altercation. The thing about life is that it is what you make of it through the choices you make. Today I choose to let go of the past and the things that hold me back. I choose to grow as a person and look forward to a brighter tomorrow. Our time here on earth is a short one so I’m gonna embrace life and live it to the fullest!

Let the flames of the universe burn the past and the wind of life carry away the tainted smoke. Breathe in the air of tomorrow and be filled with bliss… goodbye.

My Picture…

As I sit here in my new Arizona apartment, alone and quiet, watching movies of love lost and then found, I am overwhelmed by emotion. It has been a long time since I last wrote, but not because I was too busy, but more because I could not find my words. The only time I have ever been able to write is when I feel what I have to say matters… maybe not to the general population but to me or someone who may need to hear my words at that exact moment in time. This blog may be a bit lengthy but I am going to take you on a very personal journey, one that I have lived over the last several months.

As most everyone knows I have been traveling, as some would say a nomad, for  quite some time. In my heart I had no real purpose or direction. It was quite an adventure, one that I wish everyone got to experience at least once in their lifetime. I have traveled all over the country and have met some amazing, and some not so amazing, people along the way. I have seen how people eat, live, talk, believe and love all over the country. With this being the United States it’s so funny to observe how separate we really are. The discrimination I have witness is appalling in this day and age as is the quality of human relationships. In fact just the other day I had a long conversation with someone about how the natural order of the universe has been thrown off-balance by the human race, how we have created thing that are unnatural and that is why the world is in such turmoil. Even things like language has divided our world and broken down our lines of communication… for example, animals from anywhere in the world can communicate just fine. Do you think when a dog from Lebanon comes to the States and barks at another dog he thinks “Dude… I don’t speak that woof!” NO, one woof is as good as the next, they communicate without missing a beat. However, on the other end of that I have seen boundless generosity, people who have given their last dollar to someone because they knew they needed it more, I have seen timeless love, when looks have faded, sex has subsided and everything annoying about a person has come to light… 30 years later they couldn’t imagine living one day without each other.

I have been blessed to know people from all walks of life… different shapes, sizes, colors, religion, sexual orientations, cultures and so on. Knowing all of these people and being open to learn from them has given me a gift that I wish I could share with the world… it has given me perspective. See for me I get to look at the world through a looking-glass… I get to stand back and see the WHOLE picture, not just the part of the picture that fits into a small frame. When I look at life I see just how insignificant things are on the grand scale. I see that compared to the universe, earth is like a grain of sand and if you were to think of earth’s existence in a 24 hour time span it has only been created in the last 7 seconds. When you look at things on a larger scale you can really put them in perspective. I know that at some points in time my perspective has been skewed and I have closed myself into that tiny box that I am always trying to burn. I can’t see the big picture because I am to busy trying to get the frame to fit… the problem is the picture doesn’t need to fit the frame, the frame needs to fit the picture.

A lot has happened to me in the last several months. I hate to say that it hasn’t all been positive, but I can say that I have lived and learned. I can also say that I have laughed til I’ve cried and opened my heart to receive. For me, like many, when I get hurt or burned I try to close up like a clam and not let anyone else in hopes that staying guarded will keep my heart safe, but truthfully the only thing it really does is keep your heart lonely. I guess for me the saying “It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.” is true. I also think that we have to go through the bad times to appreciate the good ones. I just wish that it didn’t always take so long for me to remember these lessons when things happen. I would love it if I had a little directory to refer to when situation occurred to show me a similar situation, the outcome and lessons learned.

It has taken me to get to this moment to really reflect on the past months to see how trivial everything has really been. I have focused my time in attention on people and things of little importance instead of focusing on the issues that affect the big picture. I had known for quite some time that I had not been feeling well and instead of listening to my body I continued to press on in hopes that I would one day wake up and feel better… of course it just continued to get worse until I found myself with some pretty serious health issues and having to grow roots and seek treatment. One thing I forget a lot of the time is that we are all pictures within a bigger picture and unless we take care of ourselves we won’t be there to complete our part. Too often people leave this world too early and never get the chance to make their mark. I don’t want to be one of those people. Though I am not afraid of death, I want my life to have meant something even if it means that helped 1 person feel good about who they were or that despite my many flaws I was a good person… to me that would be enough.

So… for the next year I will be living around Phoenix Arizona, so if anyone is near here please reach out and say hello. I have also teamed up with a great girl, Christylee, to do plus size club promotions and events starting with the existing Club Fullfilled! I’ve VERY excited about this new partnership, especially since I will be doing something I LoVe and have wanted to do for several years. There will be more info to follow on the club so stay tuned. At the end of the day you have to take hold of your own paintbrush and design the mark you want to make on the world. Personally, I want my mark to be beautiful and full of light and soul, not dark and filled with anger and regret. I am making a vow to lighten my spirit by letting go of the negative and dedicating my picture to LoVe, LiFe and Laughter!

Life goes on…

Right now in my life there are so many things happening that it’s a bit overwhelming. I find myself alone a lot more often thus giving me more time to think and reflect. This blog may end up long, scattered and emotional so if you chose to read further please beware.

As I sit here and reflect on the last months the only thing I can do is shake my head. It seems as life happened all around me as I slipped into whole that I couldn’t climb out of. I’ve made choices that I thought I would never, in a million years, make.  For the last 6 months or so I noticed myself falling into a deep depression that just continued to get deeper and deeper, eventually it consumed me and I broke down. I seemed to have had lost the very essence of who I was and I felt completely and unequivocally hopeless.

In my poor decision making, I uprooted my life, left my home, friends and work, for what I thought was the love of my life… HUGE mistake. Love for me throughout my life has been extremely rare so when I found someone that meant the world to me and I fell in love, I fell hard and with the swiftness. Though my friends told me over and over that I was moving too fast and that they felt uneasy about the individual and situation, I didn’t listen and I let my heart take over. I didn’t really have the time to plan and take the appropriate steps of uprooting my life so when I made the move it was a disaster.

I moved to a city where I only knew one person and that was my “love”. He was, however, nice enough to introduce me to his friends, which in turn ended up becoming my friends. All I have to say is thank God for the new friends because without one of them in particular, I’m not sure if I would’ve ever made it back from my inner hell. When we first arrived to the new city, it really hit me that I may have made a mistake. I was alone, I’m a social butterfly so I need to be social. The “scene” and people here are very different than I’m used to and I just didn’t feel like I fit in. I also realized that the economy here was worse off than most so my income all but came to a halt. All of this took a toll on me so the overwhelming new stress mixed with the deepening depression was a mixture for catastrophe!

Now I don’t know about anyone else, but when I find myself stressed and depressed I tend to isolate myself. I stop talking to those closest to me, I become very scarce online and almost completely withdraw from the social scene. I become so consumed by my own personal hell that I can’t see past the pain. I made on last ditch effort to get back on track and took a trip back to LA to do a couple movies and visit some friends. We packed up, drove down and actually had a rather pleasant trip. Keep in mind that through all of this the tension between him and I had been building and it was, what I know now, the beginning of the end of our relationship. We made it down to LA, I got the test I needed to work and prepared for days of work ahead.

On the day of my first shoot, I called to get directions to the location and the director told me that the shoots had been canceled and I was pretty much s.o.l. I had planned on those shoots to cover the expenses of our trip so not working was devastating for me. Also while we were there I ended up pinching a nerve at the base of my spine which put me in excruciating pain and rendered me immobile. At this point I didn’t even want to ask what was going to go wrong next. With everything in LA going to shit, we had to make it back so that he could handle his business and take care of what he needed to take care of. Immediately upon arriving back I asked him to drop me off at the hospital… I needed pain pills. He dropped me off and returned later to pick me up.

At this point, I couldn’t take anymore. The emotional turmoil inside me could no longer be contained and I broke down. I cried uncontrollably, I lashed out in anger, I felt alone, hopeless, desperate, frustrated, overwhelmed, panicked and so on. It seemed like the more down I had become, the more distant he got from me. I admit, someone in utter distress is a lot to handle, but I figured if you love someone, you stand by them and give the the support they need to pull through. In our case, it didn’t happen like that. The more emotional and, honestly, irrational I was the less support I got from him which drove me further into the madness that couldn’t escape. In a few days, which seemed like months, we decided to live separately and work on ourselves. Though this is not what I wanted or why I moved here, I agreed because I knew I was a mess.

So in pain, stressed, depressed and totally confused I managed to get it together enough to move again. I didn’t want to admit it right away, but I knew when we separated that our relationship was over. We argued and continued to chat over the next couple of weeks, but it was pointless and we got nowhere. See for me, I wanted the relationship to work. I know I have a lot of personal issues to work on and I know my flaws, better than anyone else, I have never in my life said I was perfect. Even now I sit here and ponder… what happened to standing by your significant other? Vows these days don’t mean shit, not that we were gonna get married, but for better or for worse is a thing of the past. These days if things get too hard people hit the floor runnin and don’t have the courtesy to look back and see if they got dust in your eye.

I always figured that it was somewhat healthy for folks to be a bit selfish, but some people take it to the extreme. Maybe it’s because I’m a Scorpio or because I’m a woman, but I would give my life for the people I love, no questions asked. I would stand by my significant other through the good, bad or the ugly… but that’s just me. I truly believe in the statement “If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best”, and I stand by it wholeheartedly! If anyone ever uprooted their entire life for me, I’d be so appreciative and honored that I’d go out of my way to be supportive and understanding, but again… that’s just me.

Just a few hours ago I heard something that couldn’t have made me feel more unloved, unwanted or unappreciated, but as I look deep into who I know I am, it’s ok. It’s ok because I will pick myself up, dust off my pants and walk onward with my head held high. I need no one to validate my self worth or to give me value, I am a phenomenal woman and I know it! I fully admit that recently I have made some poor choices and I’m a bit embarrassed, but for me this is a learning experience and I will be stronger because of it. I’ve learned that when it comes to matters of the heart I need to be rational and not impulsive. Unfortunately, because of this experience, the little bit of trust that I did have was broken and I’m not likely to open myself up to be vulnerable again any time in the near future… but, maybe that’s not such a bad thing either!

Currently I’m just working on me. I’m taking the steps I need to grow as a person. I have a lot of things medically I need to take care of as well as mentally and emotionally. I’m not always proud to be the way I am, but it is what it is. I’ve always been nothing but honest and I own my issues… if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t be human. As for him… I wish him the best in his endeavors but I am making the choice to cut him from my life completely. This will be the first relationship I’ve ever ended and not remained friends, but I don’t feel like he deserves my friendship. If you break your commitment and abandon me when I need you most, you lose my respect and trust. To me love isn’t something that comes and goes, it leaves an everlasting impression. I will always love him, but I seriously doubt that I will ever again like him.

Maybe this blog has far too much personal information to put on the internet, but honestly… I don’t care. I feel better and since I am the only person that matters right now, fuggit! Shit, there may even be a 2nd installment, but right now it’s 4:30 am and I’m beat… much love!

To Whom it May Concern:

I have tried and tried to be cool with you and yet you disrespect me. I reached out to you when I didn’t have to because I knew how you felt and was sensitive to what you were going through. I attempted to include you, no matter how awkward it was for me. I put aside my own feelings in an attempt to make it easier for you. I am a great person with much integrity and my efforts were all in vain.

Why must you be so immature? Why must you make things more difficult than they have to be? What is it that drives you to feel compelled to speak on me when you don’t even really know me? I have news for you sweetie… people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, as your own house can and will shatter around you! I am who I am and I am not ashamed of what I do. If I was afraid of someone finding out what I do for a living I would be more careful about putting my face all over the internet, magazines and DVD! I understand that once you make the decision to put something on the internet it will ALWAYS be there in some form or fashion. Don’t be surprised if something pops back up with you in it one day! With that said, when it comes to my personal life it i still MY choice who I divulge information to… not yours!

If you have made your choice to be vindictive and bitter, then understand that you will be held accountable for your actions. To speak poorly of me and my character shows that you are the one that in fact lacks in character. Of course I have yet to observe any type of substantial character on your part. I’m sure under different circumstances you are a kindhearted person, but it is at times like this when someones true character is revealed. It’s not the situations that we go through that build our character, it’s how we deal with them that defines it.

You are the past, I am the future… accept it and move forward! I respect the relationship that once was and I would expect you to be adult enough to respect the relationship that IS! It would be beneficial on everyone’s behalf if you would accept the fact that I am not going anywhere, just as I have accepted your role in my life. Yes, I said your role in MY life. Regardless of any other relationship, we will have one of our own. I am not the enemy, in fact I can actually be quite an ally.

When exiting someones life there is proper etiquette, as it seems you are unaware, here are a few tips you should take just for your own benefit.

  1. Nobody is the only one to blame; each person takes ownership of their own parts. You can’t begin or end a relationship by yourself. So, reflect and acknowledge your part and stop playing the blame game.
  2. Revenge is not the business… you will inevitably end up being bitch slapped by karma. When you try to take revenge on someone you will undoubtedly be the one that suffers in the end. Everyone around you sees what you are doing, even if you are delusional enough to think it’s ok because they deserve it. (i.e. your child will resent you for using them as a bargaining chip and people will lose their respect for you for not being a bigger person.)
  3. Don’t make things more difficult than they have to be. Talking shit amongst mutual friends, avoiding necessary conversation, holding belongings hostage, inviting others to get involved to stir up more drama and trying to sabotage the other persons relationships are all examples of unnecessary conduct. Making a spectacle of yourself just to get attention should be left up to the toddlers that don’t know any better!
  4. Find new friends, unless they were your friends prior to the relationship. It is incredibly awkward and selfish to put people in a situation where they are forced to take sides. People may try to reach out because they are trying to be nice, but don’t be “the one” who doesn’t get it! C’mon, we’ve all invited someone somewhere just to be nice… get a clue!
  5. Move on and take an active role in rebuilding your life, don’t sit around and wait for a new life to come to you.

Relationships sometimes fail… it doesn’t make either person a “bad” person, it just means that you weren’t a good match, that’s it! Stop whining about how horrible things were in the past and make a positive effort to make better changes for the future. You can’t make someone love you if they don’t, plain and simple. Without trying to sound insensitive and I can’t reiterate it enough… it’s time for you to move on because we already have!