Cal Exotics Jumpin’ Gyrator™ Mini-Rocket

Jumpin’ Gyrator™ Mini-Rocket

This is my first installment, of many more to cum, as a Cal Exotics Sexpert. I was VERY excited to get my first toy to review so when it arrived I put it RIGHT to work! Now let me start of by saying that I am an avid bullet user. I LoVe bullets because they are discreet, easy to travel with and for a plus size girl, easy to use with a partner… I’ve also used them on my partner, lol!

When I received the Jumpin’ Gyrator™ Mini-Rocket I opened it right away and was pleasantly surprised with how sturdy it was. The first thing I check for with a bullet is how strong the cord is and it was appropriately secure. When I put the batteries in and turned it on I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy at the massive vibration, but it wasn’t disappointing. I would say that it was average for a bullet. It’s easy to clean and it’s satin finish allows for a more secure vaginal placement.

Overall here are my ratings:

Packaging   5/5

Vibration   3.5/5

Quality       5/5

Visual        5/5

Cost          4/5

Would I recommend this toy to readers?  Yes.

Will I use this toy personally?  Absolutely

Average cost of toy:  $19.99 (MSRP)

Toy features:

• Bulk Weight: 2.3(oz) / 0.07(kg)
• Silky smooth, swirled, turbo powered, multi-use mini stimulator with extreme vibrating and gyrating action
• Multi-speed
• EZ grip power pack with slide control
• 2.5” x 1”/6.25 cm x 2.5 cm
• Requires 3 AA Batteries

Favorite Fan Mail!

I just got my FAVORITE type of fan mail and it totally turned my day around. I want to share it with you all as this helps to assure me of why I do what I do. ♥

Most people think that I do what I do for men solely, but that was never my intention. Since the very first moment that I decided to become an adult model it was always because I wanted plus size women to know that we are beautiful and amazing. One day the world will come around and realize what I have always known, every woman is divine in every essential feature that she possesses. There is beauty in every curve, every flaw and every element in which makes us all unique and special. LoVe yourselves ladies, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

 

Dear Desiree,

I don’t know if you already get a lot of fan mail from women like me, but I just had to thank you.

Let me explain how I found you….I am a BBW and I am just discovering the term FA or fat admirer. I do not know how you feel about this term, and I am not even sure how I feel about it yet, I am just glad that there are men who find big women beautiful and aren’t too timid to admit it. I doubt this is any kind of surprise to you, since I imagine you make your living from these exact men (and women). One of the men who openly speaks about being an FA mentioned you in a video on youtube. I had no idea who you were, so I looked you up.

I have watched a couple of your videos, and I had a mixture of emotions. Of course I was turned on, but something else happened. I realized that I had no trouble finding you sexy and beautiful, that was apparent. So the immediate question that followed, was, “Why do I have such a hard time feeling that I am sexy and beautiful, especially in sexual situations?”

It made me very emotional. I have tortured myself with imaginings of how my lovers must view me when we are having sex…and my imagination has rarely given me a positive picture. I have always been so hard on myself about my appearance. Even when I knew I looked good dressed with my make up and hair flawless, and a man was showing interest, the thought would always creep in “Yes, but if he saw you naked, it would be all over.”

I am so sad that I have done this to myself for so long. I have been working very hard (in therapy) to really love and accept myself just as I am. Whether I lose or gain weight, I just want to feel love for myself It sounds so nauseatingly trite to some people, but it has taken years for me to come close to a place where I can say that I am beginning to really feel this.

I would never have suspected that a woman like yourself would be another piece of the puzzle for me. Meaning, I did not expect to feel the way that I did, after watching you perform. You are very sexy, and gave me an actual image of what a woman truly confident in her sexuality looks like. I needed that picture and I thank you for it.

Let me say, however, that I am not deluded. I understand that you probably don’t feel this way all the time, you are a human being, and we all have shitty days. I do wonder if you feel happy about the work you do, or if you feel objectified or taken advantage of in any way. Though you seem like a very self assured and powerful woman, I understand that life is complex, and the choices we make sometimes are the result of difficult pasts. Wait, I am NOT going to psychoanalyze you, I just want to be clear that I have no illusions about life. I respect you for how far you have come, and for being what appears to be, a very successful business woman.

Thank you again. I wish you happiness, wealth, and all the things you dream of. I send you love and admiration, and hope for you, all the best.

Love,
Nelle=

Thank you all for all of your love and support… it means the world to me!

Karma, Beware!

Let me start off by saying that in most cases, I wouldn’t put someone on blast in this manner, however, turnabout is fair play. Myself and people I care about have been slandered, imitated, libeled and all around annoyed by the acts of  one relentless parasite. I’m tired of sitting back, in silence, while this individual continues to disrupt the environment around me.

I personally choose to ignore her most of the time, I could care less about her or what she is doing. It’s only when her tactics for constant attention interrupt something that I am involved with. It is EXTREMELY frustrating to have to constantly correct someone’s misinformation, listen to people constantly complain about their ill business practices or hear about how they cry wolf about being a victim. I’m sorry, but if you do things that will cause people to react in a way that you don’t like, it’s NOT being a victim, it’s being an instigator. When a person lies more often than not, the people around them start putting 2 and 2 together and guess what, 2+2 does NOT equal 5, no matter how much you try to manipulate it.

What I don’t understand is why. Why does she feel the need to be such a burden? Why does she need constant negative attention? According to her, her life is full and happy… but, I suppose that is yet another lie. I always say that what doesn’t come out in the wash will ALWAYS come out in the rinse and the truth will ALWAYS come to light. So… you claim to be financially well off… you claim to be stable and secure… you claim to be a role model and advocate for the BBW community, but it’s all a farce.

The posting below was forwarded to me after some new drama had come up and since she didn’t get the attention she wanted there, I guess she would attempt another tactic… all I can say is Karma will ALWAYS catch up, it’s just a matter of time.

“Texts that hurt that come from the one you love.

You are so busy trying to worry about how to keep me. You forgot how we got here.

You will never have me, the U that you want. Told you to stop trying to change me. Your trying to hold on to something that’s too hot for you to hold on too.

I never said I didn’t want to be with you Sam. I just said it was on my terms and don’t give me ultimatums.

I gave you money Sam, cause you were complaining on what you didn’t have.
Guess what your present on the end of the month, will never be any month. I can’t afford it.

When was the last time you did anything for me, said here just to put in your pocket daddy. It’s been a forever and because you feel slighted, you dont want to give to me.

You get what you want. I don’t get what I want. And I barely get what I Desire.

You make sure your bills are paid and tour shit don’t get turned off, I’m out here doing what I gotta do to make it. What have you do.e for me, pay a few phone bills.

You owe me. I don’t owe you shit. My rules, my game.

Your right we both said some fucked up things.

Fuck you, play with that.

Moral of this is..

I don’t think I’m gonna be on here too much.
I think that I’m at my limit.
For two days I’ve cryed,
I’ve begged, I’ve pleaded, I’ve rationalized, I’ve avoided friends and work.

Thick ******* will still go on, the business will be fine.
I need to regroup.
I need time to heal.

If you call my phone and the numbers disconnected, please use the thick ******* number.
I’ll get back to you.

Thank you for understanding.”

Now this may seem very unsympathetic and harsh of me, and it may be, but let me say this… you cannot lie about me nor the people I love, you cannot steal from me nor the people I love, you cannot manipulate me nor the people I love and not think about the consequences of your actions or better yet, your Karma. Enough is enough. You cannot light the fuse on a stick of dynamite and not expect damage when it explodes.

Hopefully this will be a lesson for change, because people will get fed up, people will retaliate and you will be left out in the cold all alone with nothing but your bag of lies.

2013 Underway!

Well we’re 15 days into the New Year and I feel like I’m knocking on death’s door. Unfortunately, I got struck down by this years flu and am just now starting to see some improvement after yesterdays venture to the ER. I am going to share with you a story about my ER experience, since it has really been my only experience of the New Year, besides being stuck in the house going through a box of tissue and a bottle of NyQuil a day.

Here was my experience:

We had seen this hospital several times in passing, as we live nearby. After being sick for 11 days, and with fever and the inability to breath, I decided it was time for the ER. I drove myself and Platinum, who was also ill, to the hospital. As we were on the freeway near the hospital we saw a billboard that said FAST ER waiting time 19 mins. We thought “Awesome” and figured we would be seen quickly. Needless to say, that billboard was GROSSLY inaccurate. We checked in at approx 1:30pm and was not called to triage until about 2:40pm. Out entire ER experience lasted about 6 hours and I did have a 1 hour breathing treatment.

While waiting in the ER I had the most heartbreaking and disturbing experience. A little old lady, 96 to be exact, was asked to go into the public women’s restroom alone to pee in a cup. I followed the lady in, after I was given some meds myself for fever. God only knows how she filled her cup, but she was crying, trying to get up from the toilet and pull up her pants. I offered her my help right away. I had her hold onto my shoulders and hoisted her up, pulled up her depends and pants, put the lid on her urine, put it in the bag and literally put my hands under her arms and carried her out to her wheelchair where her son was waiting. She had told me that she had fallen and she was afraid that she had injured her back… I cannot believe the hospital staff asked her to go in there alone. Afterwards when I brought it to the attention of the nurses they apologized to ME and told me I shouldn’t have helped her because I was already sick and could’ve hurt myself. They should’ve been apologizing to her and not made her gone alone! I was furious and disgusted how things were handled. I wasn’t trying to be a hero, I just did what I thought was right and was saddened at the fact that no one else even acknowledged the inhumanity of it all.

I understand that hospitals get busy. I also understand that this was a new area, that they were under staffed and having technical issues with the computer system. I also understand there is absolutely NO excuse that makes this situation okay. The thing is people are so wrapped up in their own shit that they don’t even realize that could’ve easily been them, their mother, grandmother or loved one. We have got to do better people.

Moving forward this year, I am going to remember this experience and make sure I always do my part. I figure the best way to strike a change is to lead by example.

Merry Christmas!

I want to wish everyone around the World a very Merry Christmas, Happy: Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus and Holidays! May your day be filled with fond memories, love and laughter. This Christmas has given me so much, and I’m not speaking in terms of material items.

For many years I have been somewhat of a Grinch and had always done my best to avoid the Holidays due to my own personal reasons. This year a few select people have helped me to see that the Holidays, though not ideal, could be a wonderful time of celebration. I have always done my best to be grateful and appreciative for everyone and everything, but I think sometimes we all get a little lost in what we wish we had. When I pulled my head out my ass, I actually realized that what I have is even better than what I was stuck hoping for.

Today I am beyond grateful for my life, in all facets. I am thankful for every lesson, every gift, every second spent with loved ones and every day that I get to wake up and start anew. I am also beyond grateful that I am able to share my life and experiences with all of you! Much love this Holiday season!

God & The Sinner

I have never before spoken on the subject of religion, but as today is Christmas Eve, I found it fitting… I also got a message that struck up a rather interesting conversation. Most people seem to confuse me as an Atheist because I do not believe in organize religion… that is in fact inaccurate, I am not an Atheist. Atheist, by definition, is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings… I do not. I very much believe that there is a “God” or a supreme being.

My biggest issue with religion is that it is a man-made structure of belief. There are literally thousands of religions around the world and who to say which religion is “right”? As I see it, there are about 4 people going to Heaven, lol. Then there is the issue of the Bible, also written by man, which has been written and rewritten all based off of interpretations. Once as a kid, I read the Bible, cover to cover, and seemed to understand it very differently than the way most religions teach it. I also find that some of the biggest hypocrites on Earth can be found in churches all around the World.

If so many religions preach peace, why can they not live it and accomplish it? If religion preaches love and acceptance, why are people so full of hate and judgement? If religion teaches the importance of family and togetherness then why are there foster homes, retirement homes, homes for difficult teens, etc. No one takes care of their families anymore, we just shove them off for someone else to take of them because it makes our own lives easier… SMH.

The conversation that lit this fire for me is below…

Mike Leroy Jnr
Repent from fornication and immorality porn woman remember hell is real and your body is d temple of the lord – repent now before it too late christ is knocking

Desiree Devine
LMAO… thank you for the chuckle… I needed a good laugh today! Happy Holidays!

Mike Leroy Jnr
Its not funny you may ridicule the word today but don’t regret tommorrow a word is enough for the wise

Desiree Devine
I’m not the one ridiculing sweets, that would be you. I love and accept everyone for who they are. In fact, I have read the Bible, cover to cover, have you? The same “Lord” that you are referring to states that He does not call upon the righteous as it is the sinners who need repentance… he died for the sinners… ergo Jesus loves and will embrace me even as a sinner. The Bible also states very clearly, and I quote: MATTHEW 7:1-5:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

I am no fool. I understand better than you realize. So… please… do not worry about me and my ways as a sinner, but worry about your damnation as a hypocrite. All sins are equal in the eyes of God.

Besos

Now the gentleman has yet to respond to my last message, but I don’t assume he will. The thing about people like me who dispute religion is that we have to study more about religion than the people who claim to be religious. Funny how I have to be extensively educated about religion to dispute it, but you have to know zero about it to shove it down my throat and tell me that I shall be eternally damned. Again, SMH!

On that note, I wish everyone around the World the HAPPIEST of Holidays. May your days be filled with love and laughter!

Know Me…

I’m the secret rendezvous
Never the public display
I’m the other woman
Never the only woman
I’m the good time
Never the long time
I’m the lusted
Never the loved

I am a survivor
Never a victim
I am charitable
Never selfish
I am loyal
Never dishonest
I am valuable
Never expendable

Some say shameless whore
I say lucrative business woman
Some say barren harlot
I say healthy butterfly
Some say damaged
I say insightful
Some say licentious
I say liberated

Everyone will assess me
Most will judge me
Some will tolerate me
Few will accept me

It only takes one to love me.